Wow, son. Look at all those stars up there. What a night. I know your old man can be a little silly sometimes—shit, I’ll be the first to admit it. But these nights out on the reservoir with you are some of my favorite moments. I mean, hell, fishing with my son? Can’t think of anything I’d rather do. What a life.

Son, have I ever talked to you about data? Maybe I have, yeah. Well data’s like those stars up there, son. It’s all around us. And as the current of information quickens, our ability to harness it and glean conclusions from it will be one of humanity’s most important responsibilities over the next century. Important as putting enough bait on your rod! Much, much more important, actually.

Whoa, feelin’ a tug there? Well, reel that baby in! You might have a bass chomping on your rod! Reel her in, son, reel her in. Awesome job, bud.

Anyway, a big misconception people have is that data’s clean and easy to work with. I hate to break it to you, but it isn’t. Sometimes sorting through data’s like reeling in a hammerhead shark with a wooden fishing rod. It’s rarely quick and easy. You have to consolidate the data and parse it no matter the volume of data points. Such scalability will only be possible through automation. Machine learning and the like.

Wow, another fish on your rod? Gee. You know what, put your rod down. Let her go. Let’s forget about fishing for a bit. In fact, let’s go home. I have a relational database I want you to see. I think you’re ready. Focus here, son. We’re talking data.

more
STAFF PICKS

1. Lonely Planet Travel Guides

2. The City of Detroit is Dying, and I Know Why.

3. Door to Door Door Salesman

4. Luck of the Irish

5. No Cure for Lameness

6. Big Cojones

7. Cheese Whiz (hosted by Trent Dilfer)

8. The Giving Boy

9. Fourth Down

10. Horse Grooming

11. Goofus & Gallant

12. Bees

13. Parisian Love

14. Anteaters

15. Andrew Jackson Interview Responses

16. Ransom Note

17. Shisbos™

18. Sexual Healing

19. If I were the Mayor

20. Political Cartoons

21. Chunk Tennis

22. Book Review

23. Alumni Message Board

24. Mom

25. Boats

26. Sister's Shower

27. Cougar Safety

28. Cheat Codes

29. Nancy Reagan’s Spec for The Wire

30. Elevator Man

31. Interns Wanted at L.A. Production Studio

32. Hot Wheels

33. Ice Ice Baby

34. Playing Guess Who? with Wayne Gretzky

35. Teddy Bear

36. DNA Evidence

37. Get Rich Quick Scheme #13

38. Bill Clinton: Daredevil

39. Guide to Guerrilla Marketing

40. If Cain and Abel Were Sisters

41. Consulting Info Session

42. A Mango in Manitoba

43. Carhop

44. Euros

45. Fed FAQ

46. Actual Real Life

47. Mon French

48. Surviving an Economic Depression

49. M.C. Escher

50. Forgetting the Titans

51. Data

52. Budget Cut Speech

53. Budget Cut Speech

54. Murder on the Big Rock Candy Mountain

55. Betty Crocker

56. Beans

57. A Speech for the Student Movement

58. Get Rich Quick Scheme #38

59. Mick Riddle is a Man Who Works in Tech Support

60. Good American Dog

61. Alien Invasion

62. Subway Etiquette

63. Adopt a Child

64. Born Too Late

65. Dog

66. Sex Machine

67. Castro Assassination Attempt

68. Terrorist Search History

69. Image Reinvention

70. Renessa

71. Stenographer

72. Beach Bodies

73. A Resolution

74. The Zezk and You

75. Sit-In

76. Golf Course

77. When I Marched

78. How to Talk to Humans

79. Moonwalk

80. Revolutions That Will Not Be Televised

81. My Rock and Roll Idols

82. More Quotes from Ken Kesey

83. Revolutionary Art

84. Remember the Gophers

85. Africa

86. Economic Terms

87. If Cain and Abel Were Sisters

88. Best Day of My Life

89. Interview Formality

SPONSOR