Wow, son. Look at all those stars up there. What a night. I know your old man can be a little silly sometimes—shit, I’ll be the first to admit it. But these nights out on the reservoir with you are some of my favorite moments. I mean, hell, fishing with my son? Can’t think of anything I’d rather do. What a life.

Son, have I ever talked to you about data? Maybe I have, yeah. Well data’s like those stars up there, son. It’s all around us. And as the current of information quickens, our ability to harness it and glean conclusions from it will be one of humanity’s most important responsibilities over the next century. Important as putting enough bait on your rod! Much, much more important, actually.

Whoa, feelin’ a tug there? Well, reel that baby in! You might have a bass chomping on your rod! Reel her in, son, reel her in. Awesome job, bud.

Anyway, a big misconception people have is that data’s clean and easy to work with. I hate to break it to you, but it isn’t. Sometimes sorting through data’s like reeling in a hammerhead shark with a wooden fishing rod. It’s rarely quick and easy. You have to consolidate the data and parse it no matter the volume of data points. Such scalability will only be possible through automation. Machine learning and the like.

Wow, another fish on your rod? Gee. You know what, put your rod down. Let her go. Let’s forget about fishing for a bit. In fact, let’s go home. I have a relational database I want you to see. I think you’re ready. Focus here, son. We’re talking data.


1. Lonely Planet Travel Guides

2. The City of Detroit is Dying, and I Know Why.

3. Door to Door Door Salesman

4. Luck of the Irish

5. No Cure for Lameness

6. Cheese Whiz (hosted by Trent Dilfer)

7. Big Cojones

8. The Giving Boy

9. Fourth Down

10. Horse Grooming

11. Goofus & Gallant

12. Bees

13. Alumni Message Board

14. Parisian Love

15. Data

16. Andrew Jackson Interview Responses

17. Anteaters

18. Shisbos™

19. Ransom Note

20. If I were the Mayor

21. Political Cartoons

22. Sexual Healing

23. Chunk Tennis

24. Book Review

25. Boats

26. Mom

27. Sister's Shower

28. Cougar Safety

29. Cheat Codes

30. Carhop

31. Elevator Man

32. Nancy Reagan’s Spec for The Wire

33. Interns Wanted at L.A. Production Studio

34. Hot Wheels

35. Ice Ice Baby

36. Teddy Bear

37. Playing Guess Who? with Wayne Gretzky

38. DNA Evidence

39. Get Rich Quick Scheme #13

40. Bill Clinton: Daredevil

41. Forgetting the Titans

42. Guide to Guerrilla Marketing

43. Consulting Info Session

44. If Cain and Abel Were Sisters

45. A Mango in Manitoba

46. Euros

47. Fed FAQ

48. Actual Real Life

49. Alien Invasion

50. A Speech for the Student Movement

51. Surviving an Economic Depression

52. Mon French

53. Mick Riddle is a Man Who Works in Tech Support

54. M.C. Escher

55. Good American Dog

56. Budget Cut Speech

57. Beans

58. Murder on the Big Rock Candy Mountain

59. Born Too Late

60. Budget Cut Speech

61. Betty Crocker

62. Adopt a Child

63. Subway Etiquette

64. Castro Assassination Attempt

65. Get Rich Quick Scheme #38

66. Image Reinvention

67. Sex Machine

68. Terrorist Search History

69. Beach Bodies

70. The Zezk and You

71. Dog

72. A Resolution

73. Stenographer

74. How to Talk to Humans

75. Golf Course

76. Sit-In

77. Moonwalk

78. Renessa

79. When I Marched

80. Revolutions That Will Not Be Televised

81. My Rock and Roll Idols

82. More Quotes from Ken Kesey

83. Revolutionary Art

84. Remember the Gophers

85. Africa

86. Best Day of My Life

87. Economic Terms

88. If Cain and Abel Were Sisters

89. Interview Formality