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When I heard about the unlimited free refills on salad and bread at Olive Garden, I was pretty excited.
Waitress: Welcome to Olive Garden, how many are in your party?
Me: None, thanks. Just need twelve of your free salad refills in my shopping bag.
Waitress: Sir... I can't just put salad in a bag.
Me: Okay. A soda then, in here.
Waitress: Is that a child's jockstrap?
Me: It's for me... I mean the soda. It's for me.
Waitress: Sir, I can't just refill things for free.
Me: I see... How about this prescription here?
Waitress: ...
Me: It's for breadsticks.
MEB '08
Lampoon comix by John Updike.
Comedy by Conan O'Brien from his time at Harvard.
More Conan comix.
A B.J. Novak piece from the Lampoon archives.
Comedy by Andy Borowitz from his days on The Lampoon.
Past Daily Comedy pieces.
Past Weekly Comix.
Comedian Lewis Black visited the Lampoon on Friday April, 18th.
San Diego rock trio Grand Ole Party visited the Lampoon on Friday April, 11th.
Singer and songwriter Art Garfunkel visited the Lampoon Castle on March 1, 2008 for a dinner in his honor.
The Harvard Lampoon will present Paris Hilton with an award better than or equal to "Woman of the Year." Paris will then give the most important announcement of her career to date. The event will be held on February 6th, 2008 outside Lampoon Castle in Cambridge, Massachusetts. All are welcome to attend.
