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Det. Brown:  What are you kids doing here?
Encyclopedia:  Mom said that you were working on a case.  Me and Sally want to help.
Det. Brown:  Well… you are the smartest ten-year old in the county, and you did help solve “the case of the missing baseball,” so I guess it can’t hurt, take a look around.
Encyclopedia:  Oh my god.  Wh-what is that?
Det.  Brown:  Well Encyclopedia, that’s a transient.
Sally:  Hey mister, wake up.  Why won’t he wake up Mr. Brown?
Det. Brown:  It’s because he was murdered Sally.  By a murderer.  Do you know what that is, kids? A murderer is like a mean bully who owns knives and strangle-cords.
Encyclopedia:  Ahhhh!  Dad!  A head just fell out of the cabinet!
Sally:  I think I’m going to be sick.
Det. Brown:  You know what?  This looks like the work of the Arkansas Prowler.  If I’m right, then all of these cabinets should have heads in them.  Do you want to check, Encyclopedia?
Encyclopedia:  Leroy, please just call me Leroy.  Encyclopedias know things that I don’t want to know anymore.
Det.  Brown:  This is just like the time you kids solved the “case of the misplaced goldfish.”  Just pretend the goldfish are these transients’ hearts.
Encyclopedia:  Oh no. Oh no.
Det.  Brown:  Looks like that head still had some blood left.  Maybe it’s a clue.  What do you think detectives?
Encyclopedia:  Let’s leave.
Sally:  But we didn’t get our one nickel detective fee yet.
Encyclopedia:  I don’t care.  I’m never going to care about anything again.

Hugh:  Hey Charles.
Charles:  Hey Hugh.  How’s your day so far?
Hugh:  Humiliating.  This morning I was standing extremely still like always when this boy came out of nowhere and…no.  It’s too shameful.
Charles:  Come on Hugh.  No judgment.
Hugh:  He got close to my face.  He put his face very close to my face.
Charles:  Oh my God.  Where did you look?  Where can you look?
Hugh:  First I looked up, then I looked down, and finally I looked toward the horizon with my eyes a little blurry, like it was all a dream.
Charles:  What if your eyes had made contact with his as you shifted them?  I don’t even think there’s precedence for that.
Hugh:  I know.  I was shaking the entire time.
Charles:  Well, at least you got him to leave.
Hugh:  Here’s the thing—he stayed.  It was like, shifting my eyes only made me tired.
Charles:  Wha—Who is he?  Steel Man?
Hugh:  Then he started waving his hands around me while chanting, “Made you blink.  Made you blink.”  All of his friends swarmed around us and started taking pictures.  Charles—I couldn’t help it.  I blinked.  I blinked multiple times.
Charles: I…I don’t know what to say.  You did what you could.  It’s in the past.
Hugh:  What if they come back tomorrow?  My eyelids are so sore.
Charles:  Next time they come just remind yourself that you have one duty to the Queen, and that is to not acknowledge anyone.
Hugh:  Two duties, if you count guarding the palace.
Charles:  Right.

Everyone knows that fireworks were invented by the Chinese. But does anyone really know how? I did a little research and this is how.

Peng: Guys, you know how Confucius’s birthday is coming up?
Li: Yeah, of course. Definitely.
Xiao: We have to get him something.
Peng: Yeah, I was gonna ask if you wanted to go in on a present with me.
Li: Oh, sorry dude, I would but I already got him something.
Peng: Oh, shit. What’d you get him?
Li: A hat. Like this little round hat.
Peng: Nice, nice.
Xiao: I’ll split something with you. What were you thinking?
Peng: I don’t know. I mean, what does he like?
Xiao: You know, reading, music…
Peng: Oh, what about a gong? A really nice gong?
Xiao: Great. That’s a great idea. I know the perfect gong.

Two years later the Chinese invented fireworks because they were tired of seeing things and hearing them at the same time.