My Birth

Mom: It’s a boy!

Me: Hey, girl, what’s up? What you doing later, sexy mama?

Mom: I’m busy tonight because of the PA meeting.

My Bar Mitzvah

Mom: He’s a man! We’re so proud.

Me: So about that date, wanna come over to my place?

Mom: Unfortunately, I have to clean the house before the guests come over

My Wedding

Mom: Are you nervous for the big day?

Me: I just need to ask–you got another man or something?

Mom: You know I’m seeing your brother, Joshua.
Me: Oh right.


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