Psssst. Hey kids. Yeah you guys. Looking for a good time? I could help you out with some purchases which might make your night more… interesting. What’s that? You want me to buy you beer? Sure, I can uh… I can do that. After all, I’m just a normal guy sitting outside a liquor store with a boombox ready to blast some classic rock. The play button’s right here. Not interested? That’s fine, I’ll be right back with the alcohol.

Say, not to invade your privacy, but what are you planning on doing with all these beers? You’re going to drink them? Nice. Personally, I like to drink my beers and then sit down, but what do you do? Do you like to move around after you drink beer, maybe in time with a rhythm? Oh, you also like to sit down. That’s cool. Look at us, two sit down beer drinkers over here! Maybe we should celebrate by listening to some classic rock? Still not interested? No problem, I got your beers right here.

Before you go, is there anything else I can help you with? If you want, I could teach you some dance moves and give you a few CDs, if that’s the kind of thing you’re into. Yeah I know what cocaine is. You’re asking if I have any? Maybe, but I was hoping to save it for myself. Yeah, you’re right, 87mg does sound like a weird number. Sure, I’ll round you up to an even hundred. 

Is there a big party going on tonight? Something that a fella like me could jam out to if you know what I mean? I see, you guys are just going to hang out and have a bonfire. That sounds fun. Any chance a fella like me could still come? Got it, I’m not invited. That makes sense. Have a nice night.

Hey! Stop right there, you guys just jaywalked! I’m an undercover cop, and legally you have to take me with you. Yes you can keep the beers. Or should I say, we can keep the beers.