Larry: Hey, can I get some rubbers.
Clerk: Yeah, sure, what kind of johnny you looking for, smooth or ribbed?
Larry: Give me the ribbed,
Clerk: Ribbed for her pleasure or his pleasure?
Larry: His pleasure.
Clerk: What color, Purple or Gold?
Clerk: Apple or spearmint?
Clerk: Lubricated or dry?
Clerk: Fluorided condoms, for your partner’s teeth.
Larry: Sure, I don’t really see-
Clerk: For gay sex or straight sex?
Larry: …. What’s the difference?
Clerk: Well, the gay sex condoms are cheaper.
Larry: Give me those then.
Clerk: Alright… let me just ring you up here, and *turns on PA system*. “ATTENTION FATBURGER GROCERY SHOPPERS, THIS MAN HAS JUST PURCHASED RIBBED FOR HIS PLEASURE, PURPLE, SPEARMINT, LUBRICATED, FLUORIDE INFUSED, GAY SEX CONDOMS.” Sorry about that buddy, it’s store policy.