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Pieces
Red Dye 40
143
EAT '24 • December 2023
I walk in the door, yoga pants bunched tight around my middle-aged buttocks. My husband thinks I&rs…
King of Smooth
111
CLC '22-'23 • December 2021
You’re down in the dumps, sad about your boyfriend leaving you for a prettier, more confident…
Run To End Lung Cancer
74
JLN '21-22 •
Me: The runners, they’re all...? Ref: All terminally ill lung-cancer patients. Me: Oh…
Missy Manners
145
Josh Lieb '93 • November 2020
Okay, so you’re in the cafeteria. They’re serving peas. The boy across from you is thro…
My Birth
8
SWR '19-'20 • December 2020
Here are some things that might happen when I am born. — The doctor accidentally gives my pa…
From the Creators of "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!"
142
LKN '25 • December 2023
“I Can Totally See This Being Mayonnaise” Margarine “It’s For My Windshiel…
May December Romance
104
EB '24 •
- Yeah, I had a grandpa too once. Is yours cool or like a piece of shit or do you like hate him or …
Cancun Trip Review
53
CLC '22-'23 •
I knew spring break in Mexico was going to be fun – but not this fun. Who’d have though…
Larry takes a trip on Delta Airlines Flight 460 to Las Vegas
2
FSS '21 • March 2020
Patricia: Hello everyone and welcome to Delta Airlines Flight 460 to Las Vegas. My name is Patricia…
Video Game Pitch
23
JRD '22-'23 •
Sit down gentlemen, I have our next hit game. You thought Sonic The Hedgehog made us rich? Well Son…
Mall Santa
18
JPW '21 • October 2020
Beep. Beep. Beep. 5:15 AM. I sigh. I brew my morning coffee and catch up on the news — just …
Warning from the Future
92
RYSL • March 2023
Dear Ethan, I am your great-great-great-great-grandson, and I sent this message from the future to…
Johnny Adventure, Space Cashier
58
JRD '22-'23 •
It’s the future, but not so far in the future that cashiers are obsolete. We open on our prot…
Office Crush
73
YMC '21-'22 • December 2022
From the moment I met Louise Arlington, I knew the girl was trouble. "Sir?", she said. My god, that…
My First Kid
49
NGH '23 • December 2022
Opening scene: my wife’s going into labor. I watch a lot of TV, so I know what to do. “…
Cruising Altitude
2
MFP '23-24 • September 2021
Good evening passengers, this is your doctor speaking. Yeah, you heard that right. Everybody know…
The Art of the Username
18
PKS '21-'22 • May 2020
Choosing a permanent username is a lot like choosing a name for your new baby insofar as it’s…
Rare
11
HJH '19 • December 2020
Some things are less rare than you think. Winning the Lottery My friend Rigley won the lottery ye…
Business Presentation
16
CDL '21 • June 2018
ME: And by subverting double axial capital inflows we can mobilize revenue twice as fast. SMITH: I…
A Taste of My Own Medicine
13
YMC '21-'22 • October 2020
Most people don’t believe this, but my job wasn’t always swindling terminally-ill peopl…
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