I’m pretty worried because my best friend Becky is going to a high school party tonight. Which is pretty freaking messed up if you ask me because I know they do sex and alcohol at those. Uhhh yeah no thank you, check please.

She told me I should come and ‘go HAM’ with her. But in this case I swear to the freaking man upstairs HAM means Help Anybody, Me. Whatever though, I don’t give a fuck.

Worst thing is the kids at school think I’m not cool because I don’t fire burn on the dance floor and shit. But I still got a crush on Hogan and I’ll still take him home and have sex with him. Yeah whatever! I said it. I said the word. I’ll say it a thousand times, bitch.

Doesn’t matter though cause while Becky was out partying I’m still here with that high IQ and mind over matter if you matter don’t mind if I do cause I just fucking did. What’re gonna do about it? I thought so, mom.