Good morning everyone. I know we all loved George. And I know most of you guys probably don&rsquo;t know me, but George and I go way back, I&rsquo;m talking like 15, maybe 16 days. I remember the first day I met George. I pulled up next to him. &ldquo;You know how many of these bad boys exist?&rdquo;, I said. &ldquo;Who the hell are you?&rdquo;, he replied. &ldquo;One million&rdquo;, I said. Referring to my Chevrolet Impala. &ldquo;Guess you could say I&rsquo;m one in a million,&rdquo; I told him. That&rsquo;s when George punched me, fracturing my jaw and causing me to speak with a lisp the rest of my life. But now my wife can&rsquo;t divorce me, because you just can&rsquo;t divorce a man with a lisp. I love that man.
I got to know George pretty well over the next few weeks as I sued him for medical bills. I dropped the assault charges though, because that was a hell of a left hook. Turns out George was a pretty cool guy. We got drinks a few times, sometimes over breakfast. We really bonded over our love of To Catch a Predator, we even thought about trying out for the show a few times. I realize now that I actually totally forgot I was suing him. That sneaky guy! Think I could snag some of that life insurance payout?
This isn&rsquo;t about me, this is about George and how he is dead. Hm, George talked about his family a lot, I think he really liked them. Well, not everyone. He would go on and on about how much he despised his wife Julia. How he couldn&rsquo;t stand being with her, and she reminded him of his 2nd grade teacher the way she ate her morning lasagna. So I&rsquo;m really happy to see her here in the front row. Love is truly something special. Julia, don&rsquo;t give me that look, he was going to divorce you in a few weeks anyway. Wait a second, Is that John right there behind you?! You were like George&rsquo;s best friend! Oh man, did George ever get to tell you that your son is actually his? No? Pity, just goes to show that the best time is always now.
I&rsquo;m going to wrap this up because there&rsquo;s a 12 hour sale of Dr. Scholl&rsquo;s shoe inserts going on at Walgreens across the street and I gotta get there before they run out of the ones with the super cool green gel. I guess all I want to get across is that George was my best friend. Some would say he was my only friend but I&rsquo;m not one to count. The man knew how to cover up an abortion better than anyone I&rsquo;ve ever known. And he could make killer mocktails with alcohol. In fact, drinks are on me tonight at O&rsquo; Hannigans! To George!

Good morning everyone. I know we all loved George. And I know most of you guys probably don’t know m...

Miles Marshall.css-1xlpnei{margin:0px -15px 0px 6px;width:11px;vertical-align:-14px;}

Miles Marshall