The Harvard Lampoon

What’s New

Imaginary Friends #

Imaginary Friends #

This issue is not real, but merely a figment of your imagination...

Suburbia #

This is the Suburbia # because I grew up in the suburbs, and also because the only thing I’m afraid ...

Check it Out

Crimson Parody

The Lampoon's Spring 2025 parody of the Harvard Crimson

The Latest

Suburbia # • by SEH '26

Children under the age of 14 may not use the pool without a parent or guardian present, unless the...

Suburbia # • by VG

For our anniversary, my husband Thomas got me a new sink. It’s almost as if he’s trying to test me...

From the Creators of "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!"

Suburbia # • by LKN '25

“I Can Totally See This Being Mayonnaise” Margarine “It’s For My Windshields” Lubricant “Look! A L...

How To Get Delta SkyMiles Diamond Medallion Status

Imaginary Friends # • by SMR '25

Neil Klugman and Brenda Patimkin met days after...

Imaginary Friends # • by DKN ’27

I’m almost identical to Sisyphus, except...

Raised by Wolves

Suburbia # • by LKN '25

-Hello class, today we have a new student. He was raised by wolves. -Hi, everyone. I’m Drew. It’s a...

Conditional Love

Imaginary Friends # • by EB '24

Would you still date me if I had feet for hands...

Imaginary Friends # • by MSS ’25

Joey Chestnut is a competitive eater and sixteen-time winner...

One for the Road Comix

Suburbia # • by MIC '26

The Quixotic # • by MRB '25

Only 35 of the 97 total passengers were killed in the Hindenburg Blimp disaster. This has really tak...

Suburbia # • by EAT '24

Growing up in the 70’s was crazy…Bell-bottoms, Reagan was an actor… The thing that defined the 70s f...

Suburbia # • by CYL '26

Most people move to Hogtown for the good public schools. They either come for that or Larry the 2,0...

Deep Cuts

Morning Routine

Break of Day # • by HJH '19

8:00am – Wake up and shower. This is easy if you sleep in the shower. 11:30am – Put some clothes on...

Justice Is Served # • by CLHC '26

I first saw her in English class. After a quick forty-minute search of Google, I found out that she ...

My First Real Piece Ever

The ▵S=Sf – Si = ∫dQ/T # • by DJL '20

This is not a real piece, just my observation about pieces, and I am a human writing this, a perfect...

Mutually Assured Destruction # • by GPCP '22

It was a pleasure to burn. Guy Montag knew it better than anyone—he was a fireman, the kind that bur...

Apocalypseball Official Rules

Mutually Assured Destruction # • by BGS '22-'23

Field of play Standard dimensions: 63,000 square miles. Playing surface: rubble or wasteland b...

Cheat Codes for Ace Attorney

Justice Is Served # • by LKN '25

085888C8 60000000 Win every court case0452FDBC 10000000 Infinite evidence0452FDBC 0FFFFFFF Finite, b...

Nantucket Sleighride # • by ZDG '20

Soldiers: (storm the beach) (lots of explosions) Father: What the heck we’re having a picnic here! ...

Dead of Night # • by AJ '18

Me: Hello, I’m here to catch the midnight train to Georgia. Station Manager: Well, it will be here ...

The Unstoppable March # • by MAG '21-'22

Winston Churchill, known for all of his political and military accomplishments, was also a Nobel Pri...

My Relationship

Manic Pursuit # • by ZPH '12

… is like any other, especially the kind where one partner steals from the other, day after day. It ...

Lover in the Night Comix

The Quixotic # • by AMC '23

Lampy Sells Out # • by EB '24