The Harvard Lampoon

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Imaginary Friends #

Imaginary Friends #

This issue is not real, but merely a figment of your imagination...

Suburbia #

This is the Suburbia # because I grew up in the suburbs, and also because the only thing I’m afraid ...

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Crimson Parody

The Lampoon's Spring 2025 parody of the Harvard Crimson

The Latest

Suburbia # • by VG

For our anniversary, my husband Thomas got me a new sink. It’s almost as if he’s trying to test me...

Raised by Wolves

Suburbia # • by LKN '25

-Hello class, today we have a new student. He was raised by wolves. -Hi, everyone. I’m Drew. It’s a...

Suburbia # • by MRB '25

Ever since I earned my online economics nanodegree, I’ve been controlling my fourth-grade class usin...

Suburbia # • by SEH '26

Children under the age of 14 may not use the pool without a parent or guardian present, unless the...

The Quixotic # • by JKF '25

“How was your summer, Bob Golf?” chuckles the hottest guy in school. I like to stand behind him in t...

How To Get Delta SkyMiles Diamond Medallion Status

Imaginary Friends # • by SMR '25

Neil Klugman and Brenda Patimkin met days after...

The Quixotic # • by RYSL

The national draft is underway, and as an amputee I’m terrified of active combat. Thankfully, I’m in...

Suburban Safari Comix

Suburbia # • by DCCP '25

The Quixotic # • by JGB '25

I have the rare version of the Midas Touch where everything I touch turns into rhombuses. It all sta...

Lover in the Night Comix

The Quixotic # • by AMC '23

Imaginary Friends # • by BJS ’25

Hey, Dave? You know that unicorn piñata...

Modern Mom Gritty Reboot

The Quixotic # • by CLC '22-'23

(Lights up. Camera pans over a grayscale suburb.) VOICEOVER: The modern mom is secure. (Flash: a p...

Deep Cuts

Going to America

The Quixotic # • by LKN '25

Grandpa says that in America, the streets are paved with gold and the water is made of milk and hone...

An Undercover Cop In The Movie ‘Footloose’

One Last Dance # • by MFP '23-24

Psssst. Hey kids. Yeah you guys. Looking for a good time? I could help you out with some purchases w...

A Gentlemanly Cop

Justice Is Served # • by DCCP '25

Good evening, Mademoiselle. [I tip my hat and reveal a smaller fancier hat] You’re under arrest fo...

Upside Up # • by SAB '24

Half-way through my pilgrimage to Mecca, I decided I’m actually going to be agnostic. Earlier toda...

Upside Up # • by JRD '22-'23

- Can I get two beef tacos please? - Sorry sir, we only sell tacos on Tuesdays. - ...

Things To Say If You Want To Join The Cool Table

Cool # • by GPCP '22

Don’t mind me, lemme pull up a chair—backwards. My mom packs me lemon slices instead of orange sl...

The Nantucket-Canterbury Medieval Faire

Nantucket Sleighride # • by PKS '21-'22

Renaissance Faire season coincides with whaling season, which means most people do not know about th...

The Quixotic # • by JKF '25

In 1954, psychologists infiltrated housewife Dorothy Martin’s UFO doomsday cult. 4:00 AM: Dorot...

Closing Argument

Justice Is Served # • by SEH '26

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, when I woke up this morning I thought, wow, I am so tired of the s...

John Quiñones, Host of the Hidden Camera Program What Would You Do?, Attempts To Buy Drugs on the Street

Upside Up # • by GPCP '22

John: I got the money right here. Let’s make this quick. Dealer: Say… aren’t you John Quiñones? J...

The ▵S=Sf – Si = ∫dQ/T # • by MMM '20

sigh No, Percival, it does not. But due to your father’s generous donation, I am… pleased… to confer...

Mutually Assured Destruction # • by GPCP '22

It was a pleasure to burn. Guy Montag knew it better than anyone—he was a fireman, the kind that bur...