Thank you for purchasing the 3022 Ford HellMaker. We here at Ford believe that even though the natural order of the world has collapsed, the customer still deserves to ride in style. Soon you’ll be the envy of your nomadic gang of road warriors, but not so much that they’ll want to rise up and kill you.

We at Ford always say, “safety first.” But we always cross our fingers behind our back because we all know the real important thing is that the car looks really cool. Those wheel-spikes and trunk cannons might make the car undriveable, but we have no way of knowing. We went through all the people we were using as test dummies, and our engineers quit because we tried to use them as backup test dummies.

Go ahead, take the HellMaker for a spin: feel the wind in your hair as you drive over sand dunes, or bask in the sun while driving over different sand dunes. Note how the back seats slide out, so you can comfortably fit up to ten bloodthirsty scavengers, twenty if people sit on laps. We also have a convenient slot in the rearview mirror for a beat-up Polaroid of your family so you can catch a glimpse of it and, for a second, tenderly reflect about how the world used to be. 

With Ford, the world is yours to explore, except of course for the territory marked off by the Overseer, who, as the leader of all road warriors, will take your car and murder you no hesitation. 

Happy driving! There is no insurance.