Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you… the wheel! (Roaring applause)

Just what exactly does it do, you ask? Buddy let me tell you. The better question is: what can’t it do? For instance, it can’t be used to farm, or hunt, or gather. It’s also really hard to build with because it’s so round… Buuuuut, you can do this: (rolls wheel down small hill).

Incredible! Just think of all the practical applications. If we ever needed to, uhhh, maybe if there was a hill and at the bottom we had some uhhh, enemies. Then this wheel, I mean, it probably won’t kill them or anything, but they’ll be a little distracted for sure. And while they’re distracted you can hit them with another wheel! Or maybe if we had some kind of device to shoot a sharp thing at them you could do that? Like, a curved stick with some string or something. We could call it the sharpinator. Yeah, the sharpinator, I like the sound of that. That’d be pretty great, right?

We already have that? It’s called a bow and arrow? Pretty lame name, but I guess that’s cool. Goes great with the wheel, just like I said. Honestly, I’m not sure you can call yourself a warrior if
you don’t have one. A wheel, that is. Also the bow and arrow.

And the best part? It can be yours for just 3 gold pieces! So what do you say, any takers?

(Silence)

Please? It took my family so long to make this.