Joey Chestnut is a competitive eater and sixteen-time winner of the annual Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest.

I’m the Joey Chestnut of basketball.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Do I perhaps dunk basketballs in ranch before wolfing them down whole in twenty-four seconds flat?

No. That would make me the Joey Chestnut of eating basketballs. I’m the Joey Chestnut of basketball.

What does this mean? Picture Joey Chestnut with a hot dog in his hands. He’s about to swallow it whole. Now, replace that hot dog with a basketball, and imagine Joey Chestnut is not planning to eat it. That’s me. The Joey Chestnut of basketball.

If you’re still confused, imagine Michael Jordan suspended two feet in the air, about to take the iconic game-winning shot in Game 5 of the 1989 Eastern Conference First Round Series between the Chicago Bulls and the Cleveland Cavaliers. Now, replace Michael Jordan with Joey Chestnut. Are you starting to get the picture?

Are you still confused? Let me give you a different example. Imagine that I am the Tiger Woods of steaks. Are you imagining Tiger Woods holding a tomahawk ribeye instead of a nine iron? If so, you’re really starting to get the hang of this.

Now, replace Tiger Woods with Joey Chestnut, and replace the tomahawk ribeye with a basketball.

If you’re still confused, don’t blame me. I never claimed to be the Joey Chestnut of explaining things well. I’m just the Joey Chestnut of basketball.