May I Approach the Bench?
As seen in: Justice Is Served #
- You may, but keep it quick, I have five minutes until Judge Judy comes on, and I’m going to have to watch that if we want the second half of this trial to go smoothly.
- Your Honor, I highly advise that you not run this trial like we’re in Judge Judy.
- Fine, fine, I’ll just watch that new episode of Night Court.
- Night Court hasn’t been on for two decades, your Honor.
- A rerun. I’ll watch a rerun. Jesus, you’d think this guy was cross-examining me.
- Do you always watch judge shows during recesses?
- I also eat lunch and call my wife.
- Your Honor, have you seen a movie called My Cousin Vinny?
- Sustained.
- You remember that scene where Vinny gets his nephew off of that murder charge?
- If it occurred in a courtroom in a movie, I remember it. This better be getting somewhere.
- Let’s run the trial like that.
- That sounds like a — wait a second. I know what you’re doing. You’re trying to get the de–, defender–
- Defendant.
- You’re trying to get the defendant off from murder.
- Well my client is on trial for tax evasion and money laundering, but yes, that’s the idea.
- This would be highly inappropriate in almost all of the movies I’ve seen.
- Yes, but if we ended the case now, you’d have a chance to watch more movies where there is a possibility that this isn’t inappropriate.
- Case dismissed.