(Lights up. Camera pans over a grayscale suburb.)

VOICEOVER: The modern mom is secure.

(Flash: a perfect suburban house.)

VOICEOVER: The modern mom is loving.

(Flash: a child playing alone with toys in a sandbox.)

VOICEOVER: The modern mom is perfect.

(Flash: a mother crying over her son’s corpse. Cut to black. We hear police sirens as lights come up on an abandoned street.)

MODERN STEPDAD: These streets used to be safe.

MODERN MOM: Things change.

MODERN STEPDAD: They do. Faster than you think.

(MODERN MUGGER runs up to the two with a computer. A dangerous-looking one.)

MODERN MUGGER: Bitcoin wallet. Now.

(Cut to black. Then to a darker black. Then to normal black. Lights up on an infant.)

(“Rock-A-Bye-Baby” plays in a minor key.)

MODERN TODDLER: Ma-ma?

(MODERN MOM fights back tears. She is pointing a gun at MODERN TODDLER.)

MODERN TODDLER: The modern mom is master of her feelings.

(Cut to black. Gunshot. “Modern Mom” comes up in white text. Very loud slide whistle.)