Tommy: Aggghhh! It burns! It burns! (pulls safety shower lever) 

Mr. Miller: Tommy, this can’t keep happening.

Tommy: But the acid’s all over me! (to Billy) Hey, can you pass me that from my bag? 

Billy: The body soap?

Tommy: Let’s start with the Head and Shoulders.

Billy: (walks over and hands shampoo)

Tommy: Thank you. (to Mr. Miller) Oh, the agony!

Mr. Miller: Okay, class, let’s ignore Tommy and just open our textbo– what is that?

Tommy: It’s a loofah. Here, give it a try (tosses loofah).

Mr. Miller: How lovely (squishing). 

Billy: You know, Tommy, you’re not the only poor one who can’t afford running water at home.

Mr. Miller: Billy, eyes up here.

Billy: Sorry, Mr. Miller.

Tommy: (lathers)