We had barely started the road trip when we started seeing the signs advertising the ‘World’s Most Famous Worm.’ 

The kids went nuts, started chanting, “Worm, worm, we want to see the worm.” Even my wife was starting to break. “Come on Phil, I really want to see that worm.” First time she’s ever said that to me. I was sure it was just another tourist trap. Little did I know, we were in for a bit of loamy magic.  

The worm lay there in the soil, quivering softly. I’d normally go to the gift shop and buy all the worm merchandise I could afford, but somehow I couldn’t tear myself away from its tank. As I looked at it, I could feel its eyes meet mine. It was just us in the giant hall: me, the worm, and a fat child playing iPad. Then the magical part – he spoke to me:  

“I’ve travelled hundreds of light years to this planet, only to be trapped in this prison of  humiliation built by the very humans I was sent to save.”  

“You can talk? The flyers didn’t say anything about that!”  

“I need you to save me. I must deliver a message to your leader about the impending catastrophe  that will soon befall mankind, otherwise a dark night will fall upon this world.” Gee whiz! Now that this funny worm mentioned it, it was starting to get dark. I’d have to wrap this up quick and hit the road.  

“Sorry mister, it just wouldn’t feel right setting you free. You’re the world’s most famous worm!  Think of the lives you’ve brightened by being here, all the kids whose hearts you’ve touched.”  

“Please! I beg you, I have a soul and an intellect! Release m-”  

“Okay kids, to the gift shop,” I bellowed, to the excited shrieks of my children and groans of my wife. This was going to be a holiday to remember.