-And here&rsquo;s the pantry.
-What&rsquo;s with these marks on the wall?
-We marked our son&rsquo;s height each year.
-What&hellip; what happened between these two marks?
-Our son grew a lot between ages 12 and 13.
-This is a nine foot difference.
-Well, that&rsquo;s our boy.
-I noticed there&rsquo;s no 14.
-We ran out of wall.
-So that&rsquo;s why there are marks along the side of the house.
-That only bought us another year.
-Is your son&hellip; unwell?
-He&rsquo;s absolutely gigantic if that&rsquo;s what you&rsquo;re asking.
-Must be hard for him to move around.
-Oh, he doesn&rsquo;t move around.
-So he&rsquo;s here now?
-The boy is always here.
-If we buy the house, will the boy&ndash;
-There is no house without the boy. The boy is the foundation. The house rattles to his heartbeat.
-I was gonna ask about that.
-So is it a deal?
-This is tough&hellip;.but we just can&rsquo;t turn down a free house.

-And here’s the pantry.
-What’s with these marks on the wall?
-We marked our son’s height each yea...

Real Estate Tour

Richard Holton, our first Nice Guy president, eased out of the womb on December 24, 1921, giving doctors plenty of time to go enjoy their Christmas. His first word was a smile. The warmest of five children, Richard quickly gained a reputation as a kindness prodigy. While other toddlers struggled to form full sentences, Richard was able to say things like, &ldquo;How was your day?&rdquo; and truly care about the answer.
Despite his r&eacute;sum&eacute;&rsquo;s focus on other people&rsquo;s accomplishments, Richard was admitted to college with a scholarship as generous as he was. He entered school excited to learn, but professors soon asked him to skip class. It was hard to teach over all that applause. Richard majored in Compliments and graduated top study-buddy in his class. He won a national debate championship after agreeing to disagree with his opponents. Senior year, he was elected homecoming king, homecoming queen, and dean.
His last name was officially changed to Nice Guy after a census taker was blown away by his patience. Out of humility, Richard insisted that his name be changed back to Holton. When his court appeal was denied, Nice Guy graciously accepted the result.
After making his local congressman blush to death, Richard became Representative Nice Guy. Voters elected him unanimously, undeterred by his youth and stated disinterest in the position. By the end of his first day on Capitol Hill, all politicians belonged to one party. He took the second day off to donate organs.
In November 1955, he gave his famed speech, &ldquo;You All Seem Wonderful, But I Would Like to Retire, Please.&rdquo; The American people knew it was time for President Nice Guy. He refused to run a dirty campaign or any campaign at all. He became the first candidate to openly endorse his opponent. By mid-July, they called off the election and gave Nice Guy the White House. The sitting president was thrilled; Nice Guy personally helped him move out.
The defining move of his presidency was remembering everyone&rsquo;s birthday. Not wanting to hog the spotlight, he resigned after three weeks. President Nice Guy&rsquo;s reverence for foreign nations was reflected in his decision to move to one. But the voters were wise to his kind tricks, and they elected him to 14 more terms via write-in ballot. He died at the age of Young at Heart while attempting to tunnel out of the White House.

Richard Holton, our first Nice Guy president, eased out of the womb on December 24, 1921, giving doc...

President Nice Guy

And Jordan moves left&hellip; Spins around Stockton&hellip; Wretches nine times and DRAINS the mid-range jumper!
Stockton takes the ball up. Keeping his distance from Jordan. Agreed, Herb, probably the stench, Herb. And Jordan&rsquo;s projectile vomit stream SLAPS the ball out of Stockton&rsquo;s hands! It&rsquo;s Bulls&rsquo; ball as the ref himself starts to yak.
Jordan continues to hurl. Vomits left. Dishes to Pippen. Pippen wipes his hands on his jersey after touching the ball. You said it, Herb: soaked. Jordan uttering something that is not English. Agreed, Herb, definitely a dead language, but not Latin as I know it. A dribble and a spew and a KICK to Rodman down low for the eeeeeasy bucket.
Short break here as MJ glazes an adoring crowd in barf. This break, brought to you as always by Mr. Pibb. And Herb, it seems like Utah&mdash; the chairs on the bench are levitating&mdash; like Utah is having trouble with those backdoor cuts. They&rsquo;ll need to tighten things up and Malone starts bleeding from his palms. Jordan&rsquo;s eyes are all black now as he takes a quick float to the top of the arena.
Quick pants-piss from each ref, and we&rsquo;re back in action.&nbsp; Utah will inbound and Jordan STEALS the ball with his words. The ball POPS upon Jordan&rsquo;s hot touch. You don&rsquo;t see that often, Herb. Apologies to the viewers for the chunkblow noises&ndash; Herb himself is now drawn in by MJ&rsquo;s spell of darkness. MJ breathes some flies between sips of Gatorade. Karl Malone&rsquo;s son, now dead in the stands. Ooooh, and a SILKY mid-range jumper from Pippen.

And Jordan moves left… Spins around Stockton… Wretches nine times and DRAINS the mid-range jumper!
...

Henry Johnson.css-1xlpnei{margin:0px -15px 0px 6px;width:11px;vertical-align:-14px;}

Henry Johnson