And Jordan moves left… Spins around Stockton… Wretches nine times and DRAINS the mid-range jumper!

Stockton takes the ball up. Keeping his distance from Jordan. Agreed, Herb, probably the stench, Herb. And Jordan’s projectile vomit stream SLAPS the ball out of Stockton’s hands! It’s Bulls’ ball as the ref himself starts to yak.

Jordan continues to hurl. Vomits left. Dishes to Pippen. Pippen wipes his hands on his jersey after touching the ball. You said it, Herb: soaked. Jordan uttering something that is not English. Agreed, Herb, definitely a dead language, but not Latin as I know it. A dribble and a spew and a KICK to Rodman down low for the eeeeeasy bucket.

Short break here as MJ glazes an adoring crowd in barf. This break, brought to you as always by Mr. Pibb. And Herb, it seems like Utah— the chairs on the bench are levitating— like Utah is having trouble with those backdoor cuts. They’ll need to tighten things up and Malone starts bleeding from his palms. Jordan’s eyes are all black now as he takes a quick float to the top of the arena.

Quick pants-piss from each ref, and we’re back in action.  Utah will inbound and Jordan STEALS the ball with his words. The ball POPS upon Jordan’s hot touch. You don’t see that often, Herb. Apologies to the viewers for the chunkblow noises– Herb himself is now drawn in by MJ’s spell of darkness. MJ breathes some flies between sips of Gatorade. Karl Malone’s son, now dead in the stands. Ooooh, and a SILKY mid-range jumper from Pippen.