Accountant
As seen in: The Quixotic #
- Those files better say that I can buy a boat, Gene. My wife loves boats. My girlfriend loves boats.
- I’m looking at your files, and for starters, you can declare bankruptcy.
- Gene, what the hell are you talking about? I checked my account just last week and saw $40,000.
- Sorry. I must not have seen a couple of zeroes. It’s these goddamn french fries. They always grease ‘em to the point where your fingers are smudging things for hours.
- You can always wash your hands after eating.
- I’ve been your accountant for forty years, and every day I’ve eaten french fries at lunch.
- Jesus, Gene. How’s that treating your health?
- I got high cholesterol. Doctor says I only got twenty five years to live, but you know everybody only cares about Gene come April, when he’s saving them tens of thousands of dollars.
- You eat french fries every day at lunch? And you’ve never washed your hands after?
- Forty years running.
- Gene, how many clients do you have?
- Ten? A hundred? How the hell am I supposed to know?
- The IRS, Gene. This is tax fraud on a major scale.
- The IRS? You mean the IR? Those guys have been sending me a lot of emails.
- Gene, I gotta call my lawyer. This is unfathomable.
- What are we talking about here? A couple of missed zeroes. It can happen to anybody. My granddaughter does it all the time.
- Your granddaughter doesn’t manage my life savings.
- My granddaughter doesn’t manage your life savings on weekdays.