Disenchantment Day is my favorite day of the year.  I live to shatter the false sense of security children experience and to see the annual parade.

We start the day by organizing the children into teams based on their race and socioeconomic status. We tell the children that the team who wins the most points throughout the day will receive one full year of healthcare.  This fosters teamwork and provides a nice visual representation of systemic oppression, as the kids from more privileged socioeconomic groups are better nourished and are prepared to totally wipe the weaker kids.

After team bonding I drop the kiddos off at the graveyard that we’ve labeled with a “Farm Upstate” sign.  Once they’ve had some time to do gravestone rubbings for their grandparents’ graves and enjoy our picnic, I bring them over to the sex station.

Woah, don’t get the wrong idea.  We would never make the children do anything.  We just make them watch. Then we make them figure out how to raise a child and pay for their college tuition.  If they can’t get a loan from the bank, we throw the baby in a river that dried up from climate change.

We end the day with a good honest American raffle that is weighted so that people with more money have more tickets. The winner gets a million dollars and to decide whether or not the rest of the kids get to live.