Kid: Help, I’m drowning!

Hot Lifeguard: Clint, go get him!

Fat Lifeguard: Really? 

Hot Lifeguard: Yes! I’d do it, but this pretty lady needs mouth to mouth.

Kid: Please!

Fat Lifeguard: Can’t I just toss in this buoy or something?

Hot Lifeguard: There’s not enough time, you gotta take off your shirt and get in there.

Fat Lifeguard: Uhhh, maybe I can just reach my arm out from the side here and he can swim and grab on.

Kid: (Gurgles)

Hot Lifeguard: Clint, we’re running out of time. Rip that shirt off and dive in.

Fat Lifeguard: (Starts to lift shirt) Look, I don’t know about this...

Kid: Just… jump in… with your shirt on… please…

Fat Lifeguard: It’s cotton. It’s gonna stick to my skin and get all see through.

Kid: (Sinking)

Hot Lifeguard: Clint!

Fat Lifeguard: Listen, you screaming isn’t gonna make me go any faster.