“Alright everyone… settle down, settle down, if you could all gather round, come a little closer. Now it is my distinct pleasure to… okay SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING PIGS, HE’S GONNA READ OUTTA THA FUCKIN BOOK… BUT IF YOU DON’T SHUT THE FUCK UP… okay, it’s my distinct pleasure to introduce the author Brian Mott, it’s my understanding that you’d like to read the first bit of your upcoming book?”

“That’s right.”

“Oh what a treat! I consider myself a lifetime fan of your work. I remember when… oh… don’t
let me blather on, please, give us a taste.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course, I’ll just… sit down.”

I push my sunglasses further up the bridge of my nose, lighting a cigarette, exhaling, turning to
the page in front of me.

“Ahem…. A cumming screams across the sky of your beautiful round ass, my darling.”