Therapy
As seen in: The Mental Health Issue #
- Okay, Nathan. Now tell me what you see in this picture.
- That’s a headshot of you, but your neck is slightly tilted to the right in this one.
- Good. And which is more appealing?
- The third one, but Doctor, I’m sort of lost in how this will help to diagnose depression.
- We’ll get there in due time. You’re probably depressed if I had to guess though. Now, please describe what you see in this film.
- I am? (Crying) Oh my gosh. This is even more awful than I could have imagined.
- Yes, the writing isn’t perfect, but the acting?
- (In tears) I thought things would get better, man. I’ve tried my best to appreciate the stuff that’s in front of me every minute.
- Things do get better, Nathan, in the second act, once you climb the mountain of exposition. But come on, you’ve got to tell me how the pirate actor is doing!
- (Still sobbing) The pirate looks like you. He’s — you’re doing alright I guess.
- What is the pirate actor doing wrong? Help me help you.
- He’s overplaying the part. You can tell he’s acting.
- Interesting perspective. Do you still think this actor can make it to the big screen?
- Yes. No…I don’t know. Probably not. (wiping nose) How do I fight this thing, Doctor?
- We need to find the root of the problem. Oh, and Prozac will help with the depression.
- Hold on, rewind the film. You’re looking at your phone for lines a lot.
- Perhaps I was checking on my patients and their various forms of depression, Nathan.
- Clearly. You switched mid-scene from an Irish to a Scottish accent.
- There are few people who can tell the difference. But I guess they’re all movie critics.
- Oh come on, you’re acting out the stage directions one line ahead of the script.
- Why would they put the direction above the dialogue if you weren’t supposed to do it before you say it?