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Artwork: ghost
3

Change Jar

Author: KPB
As seen in: One Last Dance #

i am texting from the faculty lounge and i am looking at the Change Jar in front of me and it appears as empty as my third marriage was. I know it is not a Jar but a coffee cup featuring our school mascot the one that we are trying to get rid of the “so called ” “Rocket Rabbit”. as you’ll recall we decided at the faculty meeting that the Rocket Rabbit was inappropriate because he does not consent to the rocket nowhere in the image does he say “I AM THE ROCKET RABBIT I CONSENT TO THE ROCKET”. someone else also brought up that the Rocket Rabbit is actually riding the Space Shuttle Columbia which blew up in 1981. but we decided that Rocket Rabbit could killl himself as long as the image showed him clearly signing a notarized consent form in a country where euthanasia is legal. when we considered a new mascot Juan proposed Charles Manson the founder of our ITT Technical High School. Charles Manson was one of the first technologists in Peoria and built the first computer powered by top hats in 1901. we’ve been telling our students for years to pay attention to top hats nobody was talking about them but w hoever unlocked them would be the next Bill Gates. we were so convinced Charles Manson should be our new mascot that we renamed the school into Charles Manson High School right on the spot. we passed the changes unanimously but then the Budget Chairman stood out of his fine leather chair. “We only have one bag of gold coins” he said dropping a sack of gold coins onto the table while adjusting his monocle. “We need two bags of gold coins for the costs associated with switching mascots.” Of course we worked at a cash strapped public school because we believed in the mission that one of the kids would get rich and buy us a house. so we decided to eliminate the textbook budget, and fill in the rest of the gap with a faculty Change Jar. BUT SOMEONE JUST TOOK EVERY RED CENT OUT OF THAT CHANGE JAR (COFFEE CUP) AND HA S NOW ROBBED OUR CHILDREN OF CHARLES MANSON. there was $20.21 in thatJar or about 40% of our annual public school teacher’s salary. so i hope whatever the thief bought with the stloen money was worth our children’s future. Charles Manson is up in heaven right thinking of magnificent ways to use top hats while you corrupt his his legacy . i googled Charles Manson the other day and it said he lived in California for a while but i didnt finish the article because my fourth wife needed me to cosign her self assisted suicide forms and i also just hate reading beacuse i just like to watch the Harry Potter movie.