Pieces

PKS '21-'22   •   May 2023
If you make your password a real word make it assword because that’ll make your hacker laugh.…
JEC '21   •   November 2020
You wake up in your high school dorm. Umaru-chan, your roommate / stepsister who is also your girlf…
SEH '26   •   May 2023
This guy Brian showed up in my shower last night. The water wasn’t on, he was just read…
NGH '23   •   June 2021
If you’re thinking about joining a classic, hardcore, intense kind of cult, then only think a…
JTK '24   •   May 2023
Every pizza shop’s dream is a delivery driver with no obligation to the law. That, or an Ital…
MAG '21-'22   •   March 2020
“I’ve been having cowboy fantasies again,” I mumble, before kicking through the s…
MMM '20   •   January 2020
In 1939, at the urging of physicist Leo Szilárd, Einstein wrote a letter to FDR, informing h…
MAG '21-'22   •   September 2021
For our upcoming issue, we asked some Lampoon subscribers to write in to share stories about times …
WWE
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ASB '17   •   December 2020
Announcer: In the red corner, he’s your favorite all-American punisher, it’s Joe &ldquo…
ZDG '20   •   October 2020
Bread the TV Salesman started the day like any other: with a hot cup of coffee and a curse to his m…
HBF '19   •   December 2020
For forty years I’ve been Ray Charles’s private caretaker, helping make his dreams come…
LRK '21-'22   •   October 2018
Yesterday the Big Man on Campus came to class late and the professor apologized. The class cried be…
PKS '21-'22   •   October 2020
Host: Welcome to Shark Tank USSR.  Alexei: Privet, sharks. Today I am asking for 0 rubles in …
EB '24   •   May 2022
I get in the car, and I’m doing everything by the book. I’m checking my mirrors, both h…
JKF '25   •   March 2023
Knock knock. Hey silly. It’s me. The deceased 50 year old man who has permanently mov…
EAT '24   •  
So I was sitting all up in this tree with my Tinder and I saw this white rabbit. And like, that ass…
MJS '19   •   June 2018
Wendy Perkins is the hottest girl in the 7th grade. She reads at a 6th grade level, but her body i…
MFP '23-24   •   July 2021
Dear Parent, If you are receiving this note it means that your child has been enrolled in my class…
AJ '18   •   December 2020
Now that you finally have this issue in your hands, you’re probably wondering one thing and o…
HFJ '18   •   December 2020
Richard Holton, our first Nice Guy president, eased out of the womb on December 24, 1921, giving do…