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Pieces

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Sunglasses
December 2020
I was so excited when I got my first pair of sun-glasses, because I was able to see things tha…
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Fight Song
4
October 2018
This is the fight song for John Wayne Gacy, the Murderer, High School.  JWG High We Love You …
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Film Noir
December 2020
The year was December 17th, winter to be exact. Outside my office it was a wet, dark afternoon&mdas…
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Fat Camp
March 2019
My parents said they knew I could lose the weight on my own, but it’d be so much easier for t…
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Dandelion Tales
May 2021
Heineken in one hand and Paradise Lost essay in the other, Dandelion cruised down Lafayette at a co…
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New York
9
December 2018
Driver (singing): By God! I’m taking this Duck Boat to New York! Passengers (singing togethe…
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1999
May 2021
At the end of the millennium people started acting weird. January -The “Euro” is intr…
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Shamu Comix
October 2017
Written by: DRM ’18 Art by: JFAR ’19-22
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Wet Dream
93
January 2022
At a sleepover. Kyle: Whoa! Brian what is that on your shorts?Brian: Uh, nothing! Kyle: Hey…
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Discovery Kids Pilot Episode
July 2018
– We’re in KidLand! ClapClapClap Having fun with the Kidman! ClapClapClap That’s …
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Words to Console a Grieving Friend
4
September 2021
We’ve all been there, Gam-gam’s down for the count and you’re tongue-tied. Read b…
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2019 World Expo
March 2019
– Attention please, the presentation by Tajikistan will begin in 5 minutes. – (20 minu…
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Hammurabi
10
July 2021
After the success of his first 282 laws, the Babylonian lawgiver released a less popular but more n…
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Advice For A New CIA Agent
2
October 2008
Welcome to your first day in the CIA. First of all, congratulations. If you’re an agent, you …
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Apology to the Reader’s of Squid Digest’s April 2013 Issue
September 2020
Readers, we would like to retract a statement we made in our most recent issue. After multiple onli…
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An Undercover Cop In The Movie ‘Footloose’
May 2021
Psssst. Hey kids. Yeah you guys. Looking for a good time? I could help you out with some purchases …
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Larry’s Donation
February 2020
Larry inhaled for a second, let the shivers pass, and proceeded to wipe the spunk off the glossy ma…
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Charlie and the Next Successor
November 2019
It was time for old Charlie to pick the next child to take over the chocolate factory just as Willy…
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Dropping My D-Hall Tray
October 2020
No, dude. No no no no this is not happening right now. I’ve lightly grazed the doorframe on m…