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Pieces

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The Number 6
11
October 2020
Arthur Peddleton is unable to comprehend the number 6. It began as a normal day for Arthur Peddlet…
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Surf Trip
10
December 2020
I’ll never forget the summer I road-tripped to Hawaii with my two best friends. While it star…
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Driving to a Burger Joint
October 2018
“You gonna bring the shit tonight or what?”  Simon was riding shotgun in Bill Shi…
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Dandelion Tales
May 2021
Heineken in one hand and Paradise Lost essay in the other, Dandelion cruised down Lafayette at a co…
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Mall Santa
8
October 2020
Beep. Beep. Beep. 5:15 AM. I sigh. I brew my morning coffee and catch up on the news — just …
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Larry was there.
October 2020
Larry was there. Larry saw the flashes as the troposphere lit on fire, the sounds the bombs made as…
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My First Real Piece Ever
October 2020
This is not a real piece, just my observation about pieces, and I am a human writing this, a perfec…
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Answering Machine
October 2020
– (pickup) Hello? – Doc?! Is that you? It’s Billy.  – The Doctor is …
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QUEER ON THE FRONTIER
8
October 2020
Host: Hello and welcome back to Queer on the Frontier: the show that examines cultural representati…
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My Feminism
December 2020
Even though it’s harder than ever before to be a woman, it’s easier than ever to be a f…
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Bulimia Recovery Clinic
62
March 2022
My parents decided to send me to the public Bulimia Recovery Clinic over in Toad Suck, Arkansas the…
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Leisure Corner
March 2020
Welcome to the Leisure Suit’s Larry’s Leisure Corner. Sit down. Relax. Take a break fro…
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Tech Support Chat
October 2020
– Hey is this the–uh–the Niteflirt phone sex line? – No, sorry, this is th…
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My Trip to Cleveland
December 2020
I’m going to be honest with you, reader—my sophomore fall didn’t get off to a gre…
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My Speech For Tonight
9
October 2008
Hi everyone. I’m Jess’s father. Thank you all for coming to Jess’s sweet sixteen.…
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Tales of Vengeance
10
September 2021
For our upcoming issue, we asked some Lampoon subscribers to write in to share stories about times …
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Dating Simulator
15
August 2021
It’s the first day at Romance Academy. A new student introduces herself to you: Mitzi, eighte…
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Churchill
10
July 2021
Winston Churchill, known for all of his political and military accomplishments, was also a Nobel Pr…
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Proposal
December 2020
A successful relationship is about listening. That’s why, when my longtime girlfriend started…
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Frat Boy
29
December 2021
There’s nothing cooler than being a frat boy.  Picture this. I’m sitting on the f…