Home About Comp Masthead Contact
Home About Comp Masthead Contact

Pieces

...
1999
10
May 2021
At the end of the millennium people started acting weird. January -The “Euro” is intr…
...
Barbershop Quartet
January 2020
Lead: Fellas, meet the new fifth member of our quartet–Tom! Bass: Swell to meet ya Tom! Bar…
...
How Cancer Eventually Got Cured
9
July 2021
Before you say anything, we know what you’re thinking: why should you care that cancer eventu…
...
Apology to the Reader’s of Squid Digest’s April 2013 Issue
September 2020
Readers, we would like to retract a statement we made in our most recent issue. After multiple onli…
...
Vanitas
January 2021
Dear Readers,   My greatest hope for you all is that you actually know how to read because t…
...
Half Day
10
March 2019
Good afternoon, parents. Principal Mueller here calling to inform you that your student has been re…
...
Visit California
61
May 2022
...
Advice on How to Deal With a Concussion From Someone With a Concussion
35
January 2022
Listen up. I’m gonna tell you a straight fact that may or may not be true and can 100% help w…
...
Real Estate Tour
4
October 2018
-And here’s the pantry. -What’s with these marks on the wall? -We marked our son&rsqu…
...
Proposal
December 2020
A successful relationship is about listening. That’s why, when my longtime girlfriend started…
...
New York
9
December 2018
Driver (singing): By God! I’m taking this Duck Boat to New York! Passengers (singing togethe…
...
My Feminism
December 2020
Even though it’s harder than ever before to be a woman, it’s easier than ever to be a f…
...
Lawnmower
1
December 2020
Want to stop mowing your lawn like a quivering pussy? Then shut the fuck up and buy the GRASS-FUCKE…
...
Commercial Shoot
December 2020
-Listen, kid. This is easy. Just read off the teleprompter, and we’re golden. Start whenever.…
...
That Guy
March 2020
-Hey, who is that?-That guy, over there? I don’t know.-He must be pretty important-What makes…
...
Ice Gun
September 2021
- You know that I love and support you, right? - Of course. - And that goes for anything, includi…
...
Tech Support Chat
October 2020
– Hey is this the–uh–the Niteflirt phone sex line? – No, sorry, this is th…
...
New Cat
December 2020
So a couple days ago my wife and I decided to restart the old marriage. Seeing as I’m impoten…
...
Cryobank Waiting Room
150
October 2020
-       First time? -       Yeah. Gotta pay rent somehow.  - &…
...
My Cult
June 2021
If you’re thinking about joining a classic, hardcore, intense kind of cult, then only think a…