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Home About Comp Masthead Contact

Pieces

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Larry was there.
October 2020
Larry was there. Larry saw the flashes as the troposphere lit on fire, the sounds the bombs made as…
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Shamu Comix
October 2017
Written by: DRM ’18 Art by: JFAR ’19-22
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Dear Historians,
March 2020
At the time of writing, the COVID-19 pandemic has brought the world to a standstill. Though the Lam…
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Vanitas
October 2020
Dear Judging Committee for the American Society for Magazine Editors, I notice you have not been r…
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Lawnmower
1
December 2020
Want to stop mowing your lawn like a quivering pussy? Then shut the fuck up and buy the GRASS-FUCKE…
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Dandelion Tales
3
May 2021
Heineken in one hand and Paradise Lost essay in the other, Dandelion cruised down Lafayette at a co…
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2020 International Video Game Awards Acceptance Speech
10
October 2020
Oh, thank you, really thank you so much. This award…it truly means so much to me. Well, it l…
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Escape Room
23
March 2023
— (To microphone in the corner of the room) Excuse me? We’re stumped. Could we get a hi…
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Wheel of Fortune
11
December 2022
Contestant #1: I’d like to solve the puzzle: Host: Go right ahead. _’D   L_KE &n…
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Larry Purchases a Masturbation Bot
March 2020
Larry: Power on Masturbation Bot 3000: (turns on, starts fingering self)  Larry: Jesus&helli…
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Bulimia Recovery Clinic
74
March 2022
My parents decided to send me to the public Bulimia Recovery Clinic over in Toad Suck, Arkansas the…
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College
10
October 2020
Kid: Well, I guess this is it, huh? Mom: Our baby boy, going to college. You know I remember when …
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How I Stopped 9/11
151
I strut into the hideout, the most beautiful girl Osama bin Laden has ever seen.  Osama bin L…
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Dating Simulator
26
August 2021
It’s the first day at Romance Academy. A new student introduces herself to you: Mitzi, eighte…
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An Undercover Cop In The Movie ‘Footloose’
May 2021
Psssst. Hey kids. Yeah you guys. Looking for a good time? I could help you out with some purchases …
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Ghost Hunters
32
December 2020
School’s out, plan is a go.  It’s officially Halloween.  My parents think I&r…
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Barbershop Quartet
January 2020
Lead: Fellas, meet the new fifth member of our quartet–Tom! Bass: Swell to meet ya Tom! Bar…
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Elvis Has Left the Building
9
Robert Carlock '95
November 2020
ANNOUNCER: “Elvis has left the building!” TEENAGE FANS: “(Scream)!” ANNOU…
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Safari
1
September 2020
“And here you’ll see the world’s fastest animal, the cheetah. A beautiful example…
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Inventing the Wheel
8
July 2021
Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce to you… the wheel! (Roaring applause) Just what exac…