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Pieces

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Paul McCartney Hyping Himself Up Outside of Ricky’s Pub Before Naming The Beatles – July 14, 1958, Liverpool
21
August 2019
Okay Paul. You’ve got this mate. You’re gonna go in there, you’re gonna march rig…
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A Man with a Limp and Three Glass Eyes
December 2020
Who am I? I’m the guy who sits in the bar all day and waits for some tall dark and handsome h…
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Algorithms
7
January 2020
Algorithms are all around us. You might not see or hear them, but they are present. They are there …
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New Partner
19
January 2016
A cop’s #1 belief: I’m not gonna be the jerkoff that shoots his own partner. I live and…
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Date Ideas
1
November 2020
-Tap Dancing Summer Intensive-Battle it out in a kite flying competition-Try lettuce for the first …
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Crying in the Rain
1
October 2020
And I mean yeah they can’t see you cry in the rain, but shit right through your pants? People…
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Bronze Age Teen Drama
104
July 2021
Open on a mother and a son. In front of a forge. The work is hard, and the hours are long. -Mom, I…
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thegreatcoming2000.blogspot.com
26
May 2022
January 2, 2000I know, I know, elephant in the room. I said the world was going to end at the dawn …
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Genesis
December 2020
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, but …
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How I Stopped 9/11
151
I strut into the hideout, the most beautiful girl Osama bin Laden has ever seen.  Osama bin L…
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What I Imagine Summer Camp is Like
December 2020
1. Toodle-ee-doo! The trumpet song wakes me up—time to canoe to breakfast. 2. I eat slop wit…
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Placebo
47
May 2022
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If It Were Big Bird
May 2021
In 1986, instead of an elementary school teacher, NASA had initially considered Big Bird as their f…
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Godzilla Comix
21
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Trying To Write Mental Health Pieces When Your Mental Health Is Pretty Okay At The Moment
177
January 2022
You close your laptop, wishing you had something real to write about. The first three pieces about …
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Yearbook Signing
10
May 2021
-Hey Brad, want me to sign your yearbook? -Of course, Dylan! Good luck at Dartmouth next year. We&…
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Chained To A Tree
35
When they were all like “We need someone to chain themselves to this tree!” I was all l…
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Fight Song
6
October 2018
This is the fight song for John Wayne Gacy, the Murderer, High School.  JWG High We Love You …
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Career Day
December 2021
My dad has the coolest job ever. Everyday he comes home in a different kiss-stained uniform. Some d…
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Application
11
October 2020
Hey Angel- Thanks for letting me read your college essay! I’ve left a few comments below. L…