Home About Comp Masthead Contact
Home About Comp Masthead Contact

Pieces

...
My Birth
5
December 2020
Here are some things that might happen when I am born. — The doctor accidentally gives my pa…
...
Kermit
11
December 2020
Hey Everyone i just wanted to send out a house-wide email to alert you of a Special problem that ha…
...
My Cult
June 2021
If you’re thinking about joining a classic, hardcore, intense kind of cult, then only think a…
...
The Trial of the Decade
October 2020
Frankly, it seemed certain that Marco would get lunch detention. Frank Lee, our principal, along wi…
...
One Man Show
3
August 2021
The janitor was diligently color-coding dust when the director burst in. “Mort, none of the a…
...
A Worry
March 2020
Sometimes I worry that there is a GMO soybean out to get me.It’s all fucked up and has like w…
...
New Partner
9
January 2016
A cop’s #1 belief: I’m not gonna be the jerkoff that shoots his own partner. I live and…
...
Eugenics
December 2020
– Looks like your baby came out of the eugenics machine beautifully. – Doctor, that is…
...
My Relationship
1
February 2010
… is like any other, especially the kind where one partner steals from the other, day after …
...
Eulogy of George
December 2020
Good morning everyone. I know we all loved George. And I know most of you guys probably don’t…
...
A Taste of My Own Medicine
7
October 2020
Most people don’t believe this, but my job wasn’t always swindling terminally-ill …
...
Commercial Shoot
December 2020
-Listen, kid. This is easy. Just read off the teleprompter, and we’re golden. Start whenever.…
...
Secret Journal
4
December 2021
-Hey, I found the quiet kid’s journal—it’s all about the popular kids and how he&…
...
Ghost Hunters
32
December 2020
School’s out, plan is a go.  It’s officially Halloween.  My parents think I&r…
...
New Cat
December 2020
So a couple days ago my wife and I decided to restart the old marriage. Seeing as I’m impoten…
...
Yo Mama So Fat
24
April 2019
-…is the best way I thought I could begin breaking this news, Timmy. I’m so sorry. She…
...
Good Cop, Bad Cop, Jelly-Donut Cop
December 2020
Bad Cop: We have your fingerprints on the gun, the doorknob, and the victim, punk. Good Cop: Hey j…
...
Street Fight
October 2020
Biker #1: You shouldn’t have knocked that drink out of my hand in there. Now you’re gon…
...
That Guy
March 2020
-Hey, who is that?-That guy, over there? I don’t know.-He must be pretty important-What makes…
...
The Count of Monte Cristo Returns to Marseilles
December 2020
Count: People of Marseilles! For twenty years you unfairly imprisoned me. Now behold my immens…