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Pieces

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My Birth
5
December 2020
Here are some things that might happen when I am born. — The doctor accidentally gives my pa…
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Kermit
11
December 2020
Hey Everyone i just wanted to send out a house-wide email to alert you of a Special problem that ha…
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My Cult
June 2021
If you’re thinking about joining a classic, hardcore, intense kind of cult, then only think a…
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The Trial of the Decade
October 2020
Frankly, it seemed certain that Marco would get lunch detention. Frank Lee, our principal, along wi…
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One Man Show
3
August 2021
The janitor was diligently color-coding dust when the director burst in. “Mort, none of the a…
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A Worry
March 2020
Sometimes I worry that there is a GMO soybean out to get me.It’s all fucked up and has like w…
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New Partner
9
January 2016
A cop’s #1 belief: I’m not gonna be the jerkoff that shoots his own partner. I live and…
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Eugenics
December 2020
– Looks like your baby came out of the eugenics machine beautifully. – Doctor, that is…
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My Relationship
1
February 2010
… is like any other, especially the kind where one partner steals from the other, day after …
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Eulogy of George
December 2020
Good morning everyone. I know we all loved George. And I know most of you guys probably don’t…
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A Taste of My Own Medicine
7
October 2020
Most people don’t believe this, but my job wasn’t always swindling terminally-ill …
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Commercial Shoot
December 2020
-Listen, kid. This is easy. Just read off the teleprompter, and we’re golden. Start whenever.…
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Secret Journal
4
December 2021
-Hey, I found the quiet kid’s journal—it’s all about the popular kids and how he&…
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Ghost Hunters
32
December 2020
School’s out, plan is a go.  It’s officially Halloween.  My parents think I&r…
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New Cat
December 2020
So a couple days ago my wife and I decided to restart the old marriage. Seeing as I’m impoten…
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Yo Mama So Fat
24
April 2019
-…is the best way I thought I could begin breaking this news, Timmy. I’m so sorry. She…
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Good Cop, Bad Cop, Jelly-Donut Cop
December 2020
Bad Cop: We have your fingerprints on the gun, the doorknob, and the victim, punk. Good Cop: Hey j…
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Street Fight
October 2020
Biker #1: You shouldn’t have knocked that drink out of my hand in there. Now you’re gon…
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That Guy
March 2020
-Hey, who is that?-That guy, over there? I don’t know.-He must be pretty important-What makes…
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The Count of Monte Cristo Returns to Marseilles
December 2020
Count: People of Marseilles! For twenty years you unfairly imprisoned me. Now behold my immens…