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Pieces

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Trying To Write Mental Health Pieces When Your Mental Health Is Pretty Okay At The Moment
156
January 2022
You close your laptop, wishing you had something real to write about. The first three pieces about …
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Two Bailiffs Talk Before Court Starts
10
October 2018
– First day, huh. Nervous? I know I was. – No. I have everything set up. I prepared th…
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Times That an Extinction-Level Nuclear War Would Really Suck
20
May 2022
- One day before technology that makes everyone live forever is invented - One hour before all the…
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Discovery Kids Pilot Episode
July 2018
– We’re in KidLand! ClapClapClap Having fun with the Kidman! ClapClapClap That’s …
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Squigley
10
December 2021
Carl Squigley always had his nose buried in a book, which was buried in a still-flushing toilet. He…
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E=mcBUTT
February 2020
sigh No, Percival, it does not. But due to your father’s generous donation, I am… plea…
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Relax
10
October 2018
Welcome to my zen meditation studio, kemosabe. Now get those clothes off and get on the table, the …
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A Retelling of Jaws By Someone Who Has Definitely Seen It
8
October 2020
Jaws…yes. Jaws is the story of a very big shark. Everyone knows that. Especially those who h…
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One Man Car Wash
June 2020
– (standing on street corner with buckets of water, some rags, and a ‘Car Wash’ s…
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Driving a Plane
13
September 2021
As I’m driving a plane down the highway, airport control radio crackles in, “Unit 332, …
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Change Jar
3
May 2021
i am texting from the faculty lounge and i am looking at the Change Jar in front of me and it appea…
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How Long Have You Been Unemployed?
October 2020
Uncle Buck: That’s an incredibly personal question. Me: I’m just asking because I&rsqu…
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What I Imagine Summer Camp is Like
December 2020
1. Toodle-ee-doo! The trumpet song wakes me up—time to canoe to breakfast. 2. I eat slop wit…
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My Anime Fanfiction
3
November 2020
You wake up in your high school dorm. Umaru-chan, your roommate / stepsister who is also your girlf…
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Secret Journal
5
December 2021
-Hey, I found the quiet kid’s journal—it’s all about the popular kids and how he&…
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Whale Watching
9
October 2020
Guide: And here we have a FULL ORCA BREACH FOLKS A FULL BREACH! 9 O’CLOCK!!! Crowd: Wow! Ga…
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At The Airport With My Least Favorite Uncle
7
April 2020
Uncle: Hey, Martin! Martin! Sit with me! Martin: I gotta get on my plane. Uncle: Where’re y…
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Ice Gun
September 2021
- You know that I love and support you, right? - Of course. - And that goes for anything, includi…
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Now That’s What I Call Music! Vol. 18,482
July 2021
Track 1 – Give Me a Little Gas, SisterTrack 2 – Your Girl Got Too Much Exhaust in the F…