Artwork: ghost

Springtime Getaway

Author: OMA '24
As seen in: Best Served Cold #

  • Hello! Welcome to Go Chase Happiness And Dreams Travel Agency
  • Hi, my 8-months pregnant wife and I would like to book a vacation to non-American soil.
  • Make the baby unable to run for president. Smart, sir. Perhaps a getaway to Chad?
  • What’s Chad? My wife and our soon-to-be-born son both don’t know what Chad is. 
  • No problem. Planning a trip for two to Chad. 
  • We were thinking about somewhere like the Bahamas. 
  • Bahamas? Chad? Both have people, airports. I can book flights to both, but it’s you who needs to decide what you really want. 
  • Bahamas. Definitely Bahamas. 
  • Okay, we’ll take care of the rest. Let me tell you about our special in the meantime: Everyone who takes a trip to the Bahamas gets a FREE one-week trip to Chad.
  • Wow. That’s a great deal for people wanting to go to Chad. What’s the catch? 
  • Travelers must take the trip to Chad first and play cards with the locals until they’re satisfied. 
  • Well I’ll be damned. They like playing cards in Chad? Who would’ve thought?
  • Yes, sir. It is a great deal. I’ll put you down for the special and alert the locals now.
  • No thank you. I don’t want to go to Chad. I’m still not sure what it is. Just the Bahamas for me, please. 
  • Everyone who books a trip to the Bahamas must take the special. 
  • What kind of policy is that? 
  • It’s our policy, sir. 
  • I’d like to speak to your manager. 
  • You’ll meet him when you come to Chad, but yes sir, I’ll get the minister of tourism now.
  • Minister of tourism? What kind of company is this? I should call the cops right now.
  • Company? No, sir. This is the Government of Chad.