Artwork: JLG '21

Words to Console a Grieving Friend

Author: FOD '24
As seen in: Best Served Cold #

We’ve all been there, Gam-gam’s down for the count and you’re tongue-tied. Read below for my top tips!

– Hey man, I’m really sorry. I can’t imagine what you’re going through.

– The same thing happened to my grandmother. She died, that is. It probably hurt less.

– I’m really am sorry, though. You know that, right?

– Accidents happen in construction sites all the time. And I thought it was a construction site. I really did.

– If it makes you feel any better, it was a miracle I wasn’t harmed. ATVs are one of the most dangerous vehicles, and we only had child-sized helmets.

– Think for a second about how stupid I feel right now? I’ve just lost a dear friend as well. That’s right, your grandma and I actually got along really well. We may have even kissed once or twice.

– I was just kidding man, we never kissed. She didn’t want to.

– Hey, I’ll go and get my ATV license right now. No bribes this time, promise.

– I’m sure your grandma’s looking down right now and saying you should forgive your best friend in the whole wide world, because he’s very sorry, and also you should lend him twenty bucks for his ATV test. I think you should listen to her, man.

– I love you too, man. I’ve always got your back, and there’s always space on the ATV for one more. Not legally, of course. But when has that ever stopped us before?