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Lampy Sells Out #

SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Medically speaking, I have no idea what smoking this magazine will do to your body. Never-ending orgasmic bliss? Maybe. But it'll probably just give you cancer.

The Mental Health Issue #

Tired? Stressed? Angry? Upset? Anxious? Fearful? Delusional? Cool, me too. 

Cool #

On the first day, God created the heavens and the earth. “Let there be light,” He said, and there was light. And God saw that it was
good—or, no, ‘good’ wasn’t quit…

Best Served Cold #

Three Gilberts died in the making of this magazine. Two survived.

The Unstoppable March #

Dear Reader—

There are times in everyone’s life that they question the nature of time. This is one of those times. Question, I say, question!

Me and My Lovers #

My greatest hope for you all is that you actually know how to read because this issue is full of letters and words. They aren’t hard ones, but they might require a quick peek at the Scrabble di…

For Your Consideration #

Dear Judging Committee for the American Society for Magazine Editors,

I notice you have not been receiving my letters. I can not emphasize enough how much I respect your work, despite the fact that …

Nantucket Sleighride #

Questions people frequently ask me, Zachary D. Goddard, born March 28, 1997, on Nantucket, MA.
What is a Nantucket Sleighride?
When a wounded whale pulls around a whaleboat (to which it is attached via…

Larry vs. the Infernal Machine #

Welcome to the Leisure Suit’s Larry’s Leisure Corner. Sit down. Relax. Take a break from laughing at all these funny pieces. Want a drink? It’s on me… Huh? What’s that?…

Family Friendly Comedy #

Well fuck my cock in the ass: if this ain’t the first ever PG issue of the Lampoon. Enjoy!

Symphonia Fantastica #

Finally, my very own eschew!
Aw crap, I mean ischew*!
Issue**! Dammit!!!

Smellfungus #

It’s finally here—the last ever issue of the Harvard Lampoon. Can you believe it took us this long?

All Natural #


I am coming to you live from my shoddily crafted hut mere inches from the rising tide. Did you know that the melting of ice sheets could increase sea levels by a meter or mor–oh shit a seagul…

Hey You Yeah You Quit Pulling My Leg #

Is this a real ad? Yes. Yes, it is, But those tits…are they real too? After a careful examination of the matter was undertaken individually
by each man on the Lampoon, the consensus was yes, th…

Last Ditch Effort #

Hello dear readers. This issue is about this issue. We are five months behind print schedule. The art board is on strike. A very small ink man is yanking my laptop away as I type– sir! excuse m…

Seasons of Life

My favorite season is the spring of life. -Dylan, 8 year old.

Sets in the West #

Welcome to the set. I mean Sets in the West #. Wow, I am so nervous. I didn’t realize that this was going to be broadcast live, and I am so glad to find out that it will not be.

Once in a Blue Moon #

Now that you finally have this issue in your hands, you’re probably wondering one thing and one thing only: two things. First, what is this, and second, how much can I sell it for? Well, I…