Family Friendly Comedy #

Well fuck my cock in the ass: if this ain’t the first ever PG issue of the Lampoon. Enjoy!

Symphonia Fantastica #

Finally, my very own eschew!
Aw crap, I mean ischew*!
Issue**! Dammit!!!

Smellfungus #

It’s finally here—the last ever issue of the Harvard Lampoon. Can you believe it took us this long?

Hey You Yeah You Quit Pulling My Leg #

Is this a real ad? Yes. Yes, it is, But those tits…are they real too? After a careful examination of the matter was undertaken individually
by each man on the Lampoon, the consensus was yes, th…

All Natural #

I am coming to you live from my shoddily crafted hut mere inches from the rising tide. Did you know that the melting of ice sheets could increase sea levels by a meter or mor–oh shit a seagul…

Last Ditch Effort #

Hello dear readers. This issue is about this issue. We are five months behind print schedule. The art board is on strike. A very small ink man is yanking my laptop away as I type– sir! excuse m…

Seasons of Life

My favorite season is the spring of life. -Dylan, 8 year old.

Sets in the West #

Welcome to the set. I mean Sets in the West #. Wow, I am so nervous. I didn’t realize that this was going to be broadcast live, and I am so glad to find out that it will not be.

Once in a Blue Moon #

Now that you finally have this issue in your hands, you’re probably wondering one thing and one thing only: two things. First, what is this, and second, how much can I sell it for? Well, I…

My Creation Myth #

What inspired me to make this magazine? I wouldn’t know, I didn’t make this magazine. It made me.

Break of Day #

Good morning, or доброго ранку, as they would say in the old country. You know waking up, the morning, used to mean something. My Ukrainian ancestors would get up every single day, 5 am, to herd cows…

Dead of Night #

Hello reader! J. Leland Penis here, executor of GJA’s estate and writer of such Harvard Lampoon classics as “Something’s Rumbling in Dixie,” and “Can You Spot the Wop?&r…

Grass is Greener #

At the time of writing this, I have been diagnosed with the cancer of the tongue. About a month ago I noticed a stiff green slime growing on the left side of my tongue, and unrelatedly this morning I…

Flesh & Blood #

Okay, reader. I know what you’re thinking. An issue about the human body? What is this, “ESPN The Mag: The Body Issue, 2016”? I’m afraid it isn’t, though that is a perfe…

Manic Pursuit #

Happy reading—-or should I say happy laughing! Unfortunately I am dictating this at gunpoint and am not allowed to make any changes.

The Celebration #

What up, shawwwdy—ahem—shorty? I couldn’t help notice you were checking out my cover. Yeah, there’s a pig on top of a staircase wearing a party hat, pretty sick, whatever. My …