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Pieces

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What I Imagine Summer Camp is Like
December 2020
1. Toodle-ee-doo! The trumpet song wakes me up—time to canoe to breakfast. 2. I eat slop wit…
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The Big Prank
16
August 2019
Justin wants nothing more than to be friends with his next-door-neighbor Nate. They’ve been w…
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Seven Deadly Gourds
June 2020
The Orange Gourd: This one will kill you 100%. The Ghost Pepper: This one is less pungent, still…
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Book Discussion
13
September 2021
Teacher: Greg, could you open discussion on the theme of villainy in Great Expectations?G…
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Crying in the Rain
October 2020
And I mean yeah they can’t see you cry in the rain, but shit right through your pants? People…
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Tax Collector
33
May 2022
When it came time for collecting taxes, the tax collector’s only instruction from the robots …
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Dating Simulator
15
August 2021
It’s the first day at Romance Academy. A new student introduces herself to you: Mitzi, eighte…
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Commercial Shoot
December 2020
-Listen, kid. This is easy. Just read off the teleprompter, and we’re golden. Start whenever.…
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Larry was there.
October 2020
Larry was there. Larry saw the flashes as the troposphere lit on fire, the sounds the bombs made as…
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Marco Polo
16
March 2019
Marco Polo travelled the world trading spices, documenting his experiences. Today, I entered the c…
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Hamilton
102
October 2020
This is the real story of something that occurred to me in 2008. John Weidman ‘68: I hear we…
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2020 International Video Game Awards Acceptance Speech
10
October 2020
Oh, thank you, really thank you so much. This award…it truly means so much to me. Well, it l…
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The Time I Got Caught Milking
10
February 2020
One time I was at the farm, milking some cows when Bobby, the guy that owns the farm, comes out run…
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Ray Charles
1
December 2020
For forty years I’ve been Ray Charles’s private caretaker, helping make his dreams come…
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Polygamy
1032
November 2020
-Hey man, you gonna make it to the barbecue this Saturday? –(Groans) Ughhh I really wish I c…
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1999
10
May 2021
At the end of the millennium people started acting weird. January -The “Euro” is intr…
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Secret Journal
5
December 2021
-Hey, I found the quiet kid’s journal—it’s all about the popular kids and how he&…
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Career Day
December 2021
My dad has the coolest job ever. Everyday he comes home in a different kiss-stained uniform. Some d…
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Inspired Musings
December 2020
Scientists say that the murder rate goes up when there is a full moon. But so does the rate of peop…
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Tech Support Chat
October 2020
– Hey is this the–uh–the Niteflirt phone sex line? – No, sorry, this is th…