Pieces

ZDG '20   •   October 2019
-Babies vs. Cars: Will the underdog keep losing? -A car? Versus a baby? -This baby specifically d…
MMM '20   •   October 2020
No, dude. No no no no this is not happening right now. I’ve lightly grazed the doorframe on m…
JRD '22-'23   •   December 2022
-       Can I get two beef tacos please? -       Sorry sir, we only …
HJH '19   •   October 2020
Guide: And here we have a FULL ORCA BREACH FOLKS A FULL BREACH! 9 O’CLOCK!!! Crowd: Wow! Ga…
LRK '21-'22   •   November 2020
My Birth Mom: It’s a boy! Me: Hey, girl, what’s up? What you doing later, sexy…
YMC '21-'22   •   February 2020
One time I was at the farm, milking some cows when Bobby, the guy that owns the farm, comes out run…
RYSL   •   March 2023
Dear Ethan, I am your great-great-great-great-grandson, and I sent this message from the future to…
MJS '19   •   June 2018
Wendy Perkins is the hottest girl in the 7th grade. She reads at a 6th grade level, but her body i…
LKN '25   •   March 2023
MAG '21-'22   •   February 2019
Me: Hey Sarah Me: Hey Me: Hey Sarah Me: Hey Sarah, sorry.  Me: I didn’t realize hitt…
EPS '24   •  
I have this disease where everyday at 3 am three dudes kick the shit out of me.  It started p…
Allergy
51
LKN '25   •   March 2023
Molly: Oh Jon, this sunset picnic is so romantic…are you…crying? Jon: Sorry, *sniff*…
SWR '19-'20   •   March 2020
Fire Chief: And this here’s where we do our laundry—(alarm goes off) Oof, sorry kids, t…
JPW '21   •   October 2020
There are all types of hats, like silver or classic. But hats haven’t always dominated our co…
Robert Carlock '95   •   November 2020
ANNOUNCER: “Elvis has left the building!” TEENAGE FANS: “(Scream)!” ANNOU…
ZDG '20   •   October 2020
Bread the TV Salesman started the day like any other: with a hot cup of coffee and a curse to his m…
ZDG '20   •   January 2020
Lead: Fellas, meet the new fifth member of our quartet–Tom! Bass: Swell to meet ya Tom! Bar…
Lolita
101
NGH '23   •   December 2022
Lolita, light of my life, I feel fire in my loins. I lit my underwear on fire for you, Lolita. No o…
JGB '25   •   May 2022
When it came time for collecting taxes, the tax collector’s only instruction from the robots …
Polygamy
1085
JRD '22-'23   •   November 2020
-Hey man, you gonna make it to the barbecue this Saturday? –(Groans) Ughhh I really wish I c…