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Pieces

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Letter to Roosevelt
January 2020
In 1939, at the urging of physicist Leo Szilárd, Einstein wrote a letter to FDR, informing h…
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The Talk Throughout History
November 2020
Eve: I think that’s the wrong hole.Adam: Again?? I really wish we had parents to sit us down …
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How Long Have You Been Unemployed?
October 2020
Uncle Buck: That’s an incredibly personal question. Me: I’m just asking because I&rsqu…
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1999
May 2021
At the end of the millennium people started acting weird. January -The “Euro” is intr…
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Advice
January 2020
Listen bro I totally get where you’re coming from, but just remember that next time you point…
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Dropping My D-Hall Tray
October 2020
No, dude. No no no no this is not happening right now. I’ve lightly grazed the doorframe on m…
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Operation Enduring Freedom
October 2020
George Bush:  Good afternoon. On my orders the United States military has begun coordinated at…
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Squigley
10
December 2021
Carl Squigley always had his nose buried in a book, which was buried in a still-flushing toilet. He…
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My First Real Piece Ever
October 2020
This is not a real piece, just my observation about pieces, and I am a human writing this, a perfec…
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World’s Luckiest & Most Depressed Person
60
January 2022
Pam Jensen woke up just like she did every other day – at the exact moment that she could see…
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WWE
December 2020
Announcer: In the red corner, he’s your favorite all-American punisher, it’s Joe &ldquo…
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Yearbook Signing
May 2021
-Hey Brad, want me to sign your yearbook? -Of course, Dylan! Good luck at Dartmouth next year. We&…
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TV Salesman
4
October 2020
Bread the TV Salesman started the day like any other: with a hot cup of coffee and a curse to his m…
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Driving a Plane
12
September 2021
As I’m driving a plane down the highway, airport control radio crackles in, “Unit 332, …
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Rare
December 2020
Some things are less rare than you think. Winning the Lottery My friend Rigley won the lottery ye…
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The History of Hats
October 2020
There are all types of hats, like silver or classic. But hats haven’t always dominated our co…
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Good Cop, Bad Cop, Jelly-Donut Cop
10
December 2020
Bad Cop: We have your fingerprints on the gun, the doorknob, and the victim, punk. Good Cop: Hey j…
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World Famous Worm
40
December 2021
We had barely started the road trip when we started seeing the signs advertising the ‘World&r…
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School Tour
November 2019
Hey. Hey you. Yeah, you, freshman. Come here. Not so close. You want to see the real secrets this s…
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Advice on How to Deal With a Concussion From Someone With a Concussion
35
January 2022
Listen up. I’m gonna tell you a straight fact that may or may not be true and can 100% help w…