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Pieces

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Excerpts From the Great American Novel
74
February 2020
It was time for them to head west with just the shirts on their backs and the shirts on their legs.…
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The Woods
53
November 2019
I bring you out here at the end of summer every year. You notice that? My father did the same. My f…
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Love Song
November 2020
This next song goes out to Janet Fisher, a very special girl in my life. Janet are you here tonight…
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The Life of a Cowboy
75
December 2020
I was only five years old when my grandpappy taught me how to shoot a gun. “Pull the trigger …
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Mall Santa
18
October 2020
Beep. Beep. Beep. 5:15 AM. I sigh. I brew my morning coffee and catch up on the news — just …
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College
10
October 2020
Kid: Well, I guess this is it, huh? Mom: Our baby boy, going to college. You know I remember when …
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Dandelion Tales
3
May 2021
Heineken in one hand and Paradise Lost essay in the other, Dandelion cruised down Lafayette at a co…
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Bronze Age Teen Drama
104
July 2021
Open on a mother and a son. In front of a forge. The work is hard, and the hours are long. -Mom, I…
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SchopenMeower Cartoons
24
May 2022
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Advice on How to Deal With a Concussion From Someone With a Concussion
36
January 2022
Listen up. I’m gonna tell you a straight fact that may or may not be true and can 100% help w…
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The Dust Bowl
December 2020
Football is not what it used to be. During my golden years, AKA the Great Depression, we were all i…
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The Talk
November 2020
My Birth Mom: It’s a boy! Me: Hey, girl, what’s up? What you doing later, sexy…
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Sleepy Sam
20
Coming soon to a theater near you… (upbeat music playing) Sam Shmorganstein is a zookeeper w…
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The Beat Generation
12
March 2019
Jazz flowed from the streets in the 50s. We swam naked in the churches. We prayed in the oceans. We…
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A Quest
1
December 2020
I’m embarking on a quest to personally give a big thumbs-up to the child who made my iPhone. …
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Package Delivery FAQ
18
Q: I had issues receiving the correct product. What should I do? A: Name which of the following sc…
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Career Day
December 2021
My dad has the coolest job ever. Everyday he comes home in a different kiss-stained uniform. Some d…
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Choose Your Own Adventure
40
May 2022
You are feeling awfully hungry today. What would you like to eat? > A ham sandwich. Keep readi…
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Staring Contest
June 2020
Today is the big day I prove to everyone down by the pond that I’m tough enough to be here, a…
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Hero For A Day
10
Mayor: Congrats again on winning the contest Billy! Batman will take it from here. Batman: Alright…