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Pieces

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Cryobank Waiting Room
181
October 2020
-       First time? -       Yeah. Gotta pay rent somehow.  - &…
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My Piece About What It Would Be Like If I Wrote A Piece for the FYC #
1
October 2020
– What started out as a frankly disgusting case of unbelievable obesity had snowballed into a…
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Morning Routine
15
December 2020
8:00am – Wake up and shower. This is easy if you sleep in the shower. 11:30am – Put so…
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A Man with a Limp and Three Glass Eyes
December 2020
Who am I? I’m the guy who sits in the bar all day and waits for some tall dark and handsome h…
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The History of Hats
3
October 2020
There are all types of hats, like silver or classic. But hats haven’t always dominated our co…
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Advice
January 2020
Listen bro I totally get where you’re coming from, but just remember that next time you point…
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My Fairy
December 2020
Some people have a fairy godmother. Klugg is my swamp monster god-uncle. Klugg can’t fly lik…
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Larry’s Donation
February 2020
Larry inhaled for a second, let the shivers pass, and proceeded to wipe the spunk off the glossy ma…
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At The Airport With My Least Favorite Uncle
9
April 2020
Uncle: Hey, Martin! Martin! Sit with me! Martin: I gotta get on my plane. Uncle: Where’re y…
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Therapy
53
January 2022
Okay, Nathan. Now tell me what you see in this picture.  That’s a headshot of you, bu…
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May December Romance
55
- Yeah, I had a grandpa too once. Is yours cool or like a piece of shit or do you like hate him or …
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Date Ideas
1
November 2020
-Tap Dancing Summer Intensive-Battle it out in a kite flying competition-Try lettuce for the first …
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Hottest Girls In School
10
December 2021
And, action.  Open on the Three Hottest Girls in school, walking in unison, places in all the…
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Stars
9
June 2021
-Wow, you’re right, stargazing is pretty cool. -Stare long enough, and apparently you start …
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Sleepy Sam
20
Coming soon to a theater near you… (upbeat music playing) Sam Shmorganstein is a zookeeper w…
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Ghost Hunters
32
December 2020
School’s out, plan is a go.  It’s officially Halloween.  My parents think I&r…
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World’s Luckiest & Most Depressed Person
204
January 2022
Pam Jensen woke up just like she did every other day – at the exact moment that she could see…
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Seven Deadly Gourds
June 2020
The Orange Gourd: This one will kill you 100%. The Ghost Pepper: This one is less pungent, still…