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Pieces
Late
201
JTK '24 • January 2022
I look down at the watch tattooed on my wrist. It’s 10:00. Fuck. I look up at my wall clock t…
SchopenMeower Cartoons
24
AMC '23 • May 2022
Party
48
JKF FOD • May 2023
Student: Don, man, what’re you doing at our epic party? Don Quijote: Ah, you see, I wa…
Ray Charles
12
HBF '19 • December 2020
For forty years I’ve been Ray Charles’s private caretaker, helping make his dreams come…
Heaven
93
CLC '22-'23 • December 2022
– And the last thing is that the Build-A-Bear is closed Sundays, so you’ll want to plan…
Rare
1
HJH '19 • December 2020
Some things are less rare than you think. Winning the Lottery My friend Rigley won the lottery ye…
Geoffrey Sanders, World Explorer
PKS '21-'22 • November 2018
Antarctica - There aren’t many permanent residents so the scientists make friends with pengui…
Strange Position
20
SAB '24 •
Alright Officer, so there I am walking down Main Street with my groceries when I see this guy layin…
For Your Consideration: Ted Lasso
32
GPCP '22 • May 2022
Love Song
MFP '23-24 • November 2020
This next song goes out to Janet Fisher, a very special girl in my life. Janet are you here tonight…
Non-Confrontational Judge
26
JKF '25 • May 2023
Thank you all so much for showing up to the courthouse this morning, even in the rain. Over the pas…
Taco Tuesday
38
JRD '22-'23 • December 2022
- Can I get two beef tacos please? - Sorry sir, we only …
Draft Dodging
50
RYSL • May 2023
The national draft is underway, and as an amputee I’m terrified of active combat. Thankfully,…
Frat Boy
55
NGH '23 • December 2021
There’s nothing cooler than being a frat boy. Picture this. I’m sitting on the f…
2009 Make-A-Wish
50
JGB '25 •
LeBron: Well, it’s been great having you here, bud! (smiles at TV cameras) Kid: Listen, LeBr…
Lolita
101
NGH '23 • December 2022
Lolita, light of my life, I feel fire in my loins. I lit my underwear on fire for you, Lolita. No o…
Office Crush
68
YMC '21-'22 • December 2022
From the moment I met Louise Arlington, I knew the girl was trouble. "Sir?", she said. My god, that…
Baseball Ghost
75
GPCP '22 • May 2023
I clutched my Babe Ruth card in one hand and my necronomicon in the other. “The big game&rsqu…
D-Day Picnic
ZDG '20 • June 2020
Soldiers: (storm the beach) (lots of explosions) Father: What the heck we’re having a picnic…
Dialogue Options in Fallout: New Cambridge
70
JTK '24 • May 2022
Stranger: Hey there traveler! Is there anything I can help you with? [1] I’m very hu…
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