Artwork: IKI '26


Author: OMA '24
As seen in: The Quixotic #

  • Those files better say that I can buy a boat, Gene. My wife loves boats. My girlfriend loves boats. 
  • I’m looking at your files, and for starters, you can declare bankruptcy. 
  • Gene, what the hell are you talking about? I checked my account just last week and saw $40,000.
  • Sorry. I must not have seen a couple of zeroes. It’s these goddamn french fries. They always grease ‘em to the point where your fingers are smudging things for hours. 
  • You can always wash your hands after eating. 
  • I’ve been your accountant for forty years, and every day I’ve eaten french fries at lunch. 
  • Jesus, Gene. How’s that treating your health? 
  • I got high cholesterol. Doctor says I only got twenty five years to live, but you know everybody only cares about Gene come April, when he’s saving them tens of thousands of dollars.
  • You eat french fries every day at lunch? And you’ve never washed your hands after?
  • Forty years running. 
  • Gene, how many clients do you have? 
  • Ten? A hundred? How the hell am I supposed to know?
  • The IRS, Gene. This is tax fraud on a major scale.
  • The IRS? You mean the IR? Those guys have been sending me a lot of emails.
  • Gene, I gotta call my lawyer. This is unfathomable. 
  • What are we talking about here? A couple of missed zeroes. It can happen to anybody. My granddaughter does it all the time. 
  • Your granddaughter doesn’t manage my life savings. 
  • My granddaughter doesn’t manage your life savings on weekdays.