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Pieces

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A Day in the Life of Hamish Olsen, New York, 19
33
December 2020
She looked at him like a deer in headlights might look at someone if it had human eyes. Hamish had …
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Larry Buys Condoms
10
March 2020
Larry: Hey, can I get some rubbers.  Clerk: Yeah, sure, what kind of johnny you looking for, …
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2019 World Expo
March 2019
– Attention please, the presentation by Tajikistan will begin in 5 minutes. – (20 minu…
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At The Airport With My Least Favorite Uncle
5
April 2020
Uncle: Hey, Martin! Martin! Sit with me! Martin: I gotta get on my plane. Uncle: Where’re y…
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The Time I Got Caught Milking
10
February 2020
One time I was at the farm, milking some cows when Bobby, the guy that owns the farm, comes out run…
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Leisure Corner
March 2020
Welcome to the Leisure Suit’s Larry’s Leisure Corner. Sit down. Relax. Take a break fro…
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SNOWED IN
10
January 2020
Operator: 911, what’s your emergency? Me: I’m… stuck, in my cabin. I need human…
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President Nice Guy
14
December 2020
Richard Holton, our first Nice Guy president, eased out of the womb on December 24, 1921, giving do…
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Waxing Thoughts
43
January 2022
“I understand your pain. I’ve gone through the same thing.” – the woman w…
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Whale Watching
9
October 2020
Guide: And here we have a FULL ORCA BREACH FOLKS A FULL BREACH! 9 O’CLOCK!!! Crowd: Wow! Ga…
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Larry Purchases a Masturbation Bot
March 2020
Larry: Power on Masturbation Bot 3000: (turns on, starts fingering self)  Larry: Jesus&helli…
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Gun Show
July 2021
Turbus: And this here is the Heckler and Koch SR9, with extra bolt-action to make your kills absolu…
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Costume Party
December 2020
— Hey Brenda how’s it— jesus christ dude! — Ha ha fooled ya. Don’t I…
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Change Jar
3
May 2021
i am texting from the faculty lounge and i am looking at the Change Jar in front of me and it appea…
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Springtime Getaway
12
September 2021
Hello! Welcome to Go Chase Happiness And Dreams Travel Agency.  Hi, my 8-months pregna…
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Sometimes when I’m thinking…
2
November 2020
Sometimes when I’m thinking about doing something a little devil will pop up on one of my sho…
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Bulimia Recovery Clinic
62
March 2022
My parents decided to send me to the public Bulimia Recovery Clinic over in Toad Suck, Arkansas the…
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Business Presentation
June 2018
ME: And by subverting double axial capital inflows we can mobilize revenue twice as fast. SMITH: I…