Home About Comp Masthead Contact
Home About Comp Masthead Contact

Pieces

...
Apology to the Reader’s of Squid Digest’s April 2013 Issue
September 2020
Readers, we would like to retract a statement we made in our most recent issue. After multiple onli…
...
Exam Locations
4
May 2018
Last Names A- Y: Harding Room 2121 Last Name Zanderson: Arrive at the boarded up Liquor-Max on Was…
...
The Time I Got Caught Milking
10
February 2020
One time I was at the farm, milking some cows when Bobby, the guy that owns the farm, comes out run…
...
Buzzer
November 2019
– Hey dude how do we know our pizza is ready for pick-up? – The buzzer they gave us. …
...
Birthday Card
October 2008
GRANDFATHER: Here’s a card from me. Happy birthday. SON: Thanks, grandpa. MOTHER: Read it a…
...
Larry’s Donation
February 2020
Larry inhaled for a second, let the shivers pass, and proceeded to wipe the spunk off the glossy ma…
...
My Dog and All My Coworkers’ Dogs All Got Food Poisoning From the Office Dog Food Stash and It Was Really Awful and Sad
14
September 2021
Monday Me: (crying at desk).Lisa: Sorry to hear about your Maltese dog, Doug. When my su…
...
Store Closing
December 2020
To Our Valued Customers, I regret to inform you that here at Frank’s Drugstore and Candy Emp…
...
Love Song
November 2020
This next song goes out to Janet Fisher, a very special girl in my life. Janet are you here tonight…
...
The Flu Game
10
May 2021
And Jordan moves left… Spins around Stockton… Wretches nine times and DRAINS the mid-…
...
Eulogy of George
December 2020
Good morning everyone. I know we all loved George. And I know most of you guys probably don’t…
...
Late
170
January 2022
I look down at the watch tattooed on my wrist. It’s 10:00. Fuck. I look up at my wall clock t…
...
Advice For A New CIA Agent
2
October 2008
Welcome to your first day in the CIA. First of all, congratulations. If you’re an agent, you …
...
How McDonalds Came Up With Grimace
21
May 2021
Businessman: As I was saying, what do kids love? Characters! We just ran with that. Businesswoman:…
...
New Cat
December 2020
So a couple days ago my wife and I decided to restart the old marriage. Seeing as I’m impoten…
...
Tuxedo
September 2020
Glad I’ve got someone interested in buying Tuxedo. My father died in this tuxedo, and then it…
...
Hell
November 2020
There’s a special place in hell for weird guys who can’t be kept in the regular part of…
...
That Guy
March 2020
-Hey, who is that?-That guy, over there? I don’t know.-He must be pretty important-What makes…
...
Vanagon
December 2020
Ever since I was little, I wanted a vanagon. I worked for fifty years to get one — mailr…
...
Secret Journal
4
December 2021
-Hey, I found the quiet kid’s journal—it’s all about the popular kids and how he&…