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Pieces
Trying To Write Mental Health Pieces When Your Mental Health Is Pretty Okay At The Moment
197
GPCP '22 • January 2022
You close your laptop, wishing you had something real to write about. The first three pieces about …
Squirrels
60
RYSL •
My ideal hangover cure is a lazy afternoon at the park, sipping on a cold beer and talking with the…
How Long Have You Been Unemployed?
9
LRK '21-'22 • October 2020
Uncle Buck: That’s an incredibly personal question. Me: I’m just asking because I&rsqu…
Modern Day Barbershop Quartet
4
ZDG '20 • October 2020
Quartet: (singing) Once is a day at a time, twice is looking so fine! Customer: Neat-o! A quartet!…
Moon Mine
7
ZDG '20 • November 2019
A notice to all MoonCorp employees: Gentlemen, this is your CEO. Please keep mining; no reason to …
QUEER ON THE FRONTIER
8
BWM '19-'21 • October 2020
Host: Hello and welcome back to Queer on the Frontier: the show that examines cultural representati…
Condolences
40
OECGP ’22-’24 • March 2023
Tue, Jun 9, 2:47 PM Hey bud, I was super bummed to see that obituary about you this morning. Big c…
Family
1
JPW '21 • October 2020
I’ve got a crazy family — two brothers, four sisters, three half-brothers, one quarter-…
Cryobank Waiting Room
181
JLN '21-22 • October 2020
- First time? - Yeah. Gotta pay rent somehow. - &…
The Dust Bowl
LGF '21-'22 • December 2020
Football is not what it used to be. During my golden years, AKA the Great Depression, we were all i…
Job Fair
52
MRB '25 • March 2023
Welcome, child, to The Optimizer's annual "Fun N' Fulfillment" job-provisioning fair. Remember, the…
Springtime Getaway
23
OMA '24 • September 2021
Hello! Welcome to Go Chase Happiness And Dreams Travel Agency. Hi, my 8-months pregna…
Fight Song
6
JFAR '19-'22 • October 2018
This is the fight song for John Wayne Gacy, the Murderer, High School. JWG High We Love You …
That Guy
BWM '19-'21 • March 2020
-Hey, who is that?-That guy, over there? I don’t know.-He must be pretty important-What makes…
2009 Make-A-Wish
40
JGB '25 •
LeBron: Well, it’s been great having you here, bud! (smiles at TV cameras) Kid: Listen, LeBr…
Vanitas
JLG '21 • October 2020
Dear Judging Committee for the American Society for Magazine Editors, I notice you have not been r…
My Speech For Tonight
11
RIP '09 • October 2008
Hi everyone. I’m Jess’s father. Thank you all for coming to Jess’s sweet sixteen.…
Rare
HJH '19 • December 2020
Some things are less rare than you think. Winning the Lottery My friend Rigley won the lottery ye…
Elvis Has Left the Building
31
Robert Carlock '95 • November 2020
ANNOUNCER: “Elvis has left the building!” TEENAGE FANS: “(Scream)!” ANNOU…
A Knight's Quest
85
RYSL •
The object of your next quest is to smite a dragon. No, not ‘he.’ This dragon is female…
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