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Pieces

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Things To Say If You Want To Join The Cool Table
20
December 2021
Don’t mind me, lemme pull up a chair—backwards. My mom packs me lemon slices instead…
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Online Quiz
December 2020
Take this short quiz and see if we can guess where you were born! How do you pronounce Mayonnaise?…
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Half Day
10
March 2019
Good afternoon, parents. Principal Mueller here calling to inform you that your student has been re…
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Springtime Getaway
12
September 2021
Hello! Welcome to Go Chase Happiness And Dreams Travel Agency.  Hi, my 8-months pregna…
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Two Bailiffs Talk Before Court Starts
10
October 2018
– First day, huh. Nervous? I know I was. – No. I have everything set up. I prepared th…
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Laser Danger
19
January 2022
Before dying of liver failure, action stuntman Laser Danger said some of the coolest things utter…
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Vanitas
January 2021
Dear Readers,   My greatest hope for you all is that you actually know how to read because t…
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One Man Car Wash
June 2020
– (standing on street corner with buckets of water, some rags, and a ‘Car Wash’ s…
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Larry was there.
October 2020
Larry was there. Larry saw the flashes as the troposphere lit on fire, the sounds the bombs made as…
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Discovery Kids Pilot Episode
July 2018
– We’re in KidLand! ClapClapClap Having fun with the Kidman! ClapClapClap That’s …
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‘Tucket
87
June 2020
Hot Babes. Everywhere. Oyster season baby. Oyster. Fucking. Season. Summer on the ‘Tuck. If y…
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An Undercover Cop In The Movie ‘Footloose’
May 2021
Psssst. Hey kids. Yeah you guys. Looking for a good time? I could help you out with some purchases …
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Answering Machine
October 2020
– (pickup) Hello? – Doc?! Is that you? It’s Billy.  – The Doctor is …
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Guest Lecture by Joseph Campbell at University of Chicago, Transcript 11/24/68
20
December 2020
Good evening students. I’d like to begin by thanking those of you who showed up to this lectu…
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The Guys Who Invented Ping Pong
10
July 2021
GUY 1: Check this out…(opens up the game PONG on Atari)GUY 2: Woah! (plays PONG)GUY 1: If on…
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My Trip to Cleveland
10
December 2020
I’m going to be honest with you, reader—my sophomore fall didn’t get off to a gre…
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The Woods
45
November 2019
I bring you out here at the end of summer every year. You notice that? My father did the same. My f…
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DrivingInstructor.ai
89
May 2022
I get in the car, and I’m doing everything by the book. I’m checking my mirrors, both h…