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Artwork: ghost
11

Dinner Date

Author: BGS '22-'23
As seen in: Me and My Lovers #

Lindsey: It is so hot that you speak French, Jack.
Jack: Ah, but how else would I order . . . la crème brûlée?
(both laughing)
Customer: Aidez-moi! Ma bague de mariage! [Help me! My wedding ring!]
Waiter: Does anybody speak French in here?
Lindsey: Jack does! Help him, Jack!
Jack: Yes, ah, of course. Bonjour, monsieur. Je m’appelle…uh, Jacques.
Customer: (holding his head) Je ne trouve pas ma bague! [I can’t find my ring!]
Jack:
Customer: Ma bague! [My ring!]
Jack: He is having a headache. A very severe headache, and he needs Advil.
Lindsey: Wow, it’s a good thing you’re a doctor, too! Here, sir, some Advil.
Customer: Qu’est-ce que c’est?! [What is this?!]
Jack: You are welcome, monsieur.
Customer: (pointing to his ring finger) C’est une bague en diamant! [It’s a diamond ring.]
Jack: He also has pain in his ring finger, a common side effect of Advil.
Customer: (slumping dejectedly in chair) Ma bague, ma bague. [My ring, my ring.]
Jack: Oh, no!! He’s becoming faint. I’ll check for a pulse!
Customer: Descendez de moi, brute américaine! [Get off of me, you American brute!]
Jack: He’s gonna need CPR. Sir, please remain calm. (does vigorous chest compressions) Lindsey: I’ll call an ambulance!
Customer: Une ambulance? Quoi?! [An ambulance? What?!]
EMT: Sir, you’re going to be okay. Just calm down. (wheels him away)
Lindsey: You saved his life!
Jack: Oui, mon amour. I love you so much.
Lindsey: (sees diamond ring on floor under table) Oh, Jack, did you hide that ring there? Yes, I will marry you!!
Other Customer: Bafu iko wapi? Nadhani mimi nina karibu kutupa. [Where’s the bathroom? I think I’m about to throw up.]
Jack: Iko nyuma ya mgahawa kulia. [It’s at the back of the restaurant to the right.]