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Pieces

Crazy Parents
5
JBO '10   •   October 2008
CRAZY PARENTS are a huge problem for all of us. But are your parents crazy in a comedy way, or a re…
Seven Deadly Gourds
MAG '21-'22   •   June 2020
The Orange Gourd: This one will kill you 100%. The Ghost Pepper: This one is less pungent, still…
Fireman
59
OMA '24   •   December 2022
As a fireman, I face difficult decisions on a daily and nightly basis. For instance, do I take the …
What I Imagine Summer Camp is Like
SVG '18   •   December 2020
1. Toodle-ee-doo! The trumpet song wakes me up—time to canoe to breakfast. 2. I eat slop wit…
Larry’s Donation
CDL '21   •   February 2020
Larry inhaled for a second, let the shivers pass, and proceeded to wipe the spunk off the glossy ma…
Suburban Journaling
61
JKF '25   •   December 2023
On summer nights, I would sit by the train tracks. There wasn’t much to do around town except…
Advice For A New CIA Agent
15
HHD   •   October 2008
Welcome to your first day in the CIA. First of all, congratulations. If you’re an agent, you …
Excerpts From the Great American Novel
89
JLN '21-22   •   February 2020
It was time for them to head west with just the shirts on their backs and the shirts on their legs.…
Red Dye 40
130
EAT '24   •   December 2023
I walk in the door, yoga pants bunched tight around my middle-aged buttocks. My husband thinks I&rs…
Modern Mom
55
CYL '26   •   September 2022
My mom isn’t like other moms.  When I was conceived, my mother didn’t carry me in …
Opening Line of My Book
2
BWM '19-'21   •   February 2020
“Alright everyone… settle down, settle down, if you could all gather round, come a lit…
From the Creators of "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!"
130
LKN '25   •   December 2023
“I Can Totally See This Being Mayonnaise” Margarine “It’s For My Windshiel…
Moon Mine
7
ZDG '20   •   November 2019
A notice to all MoonCorp employees: Gentlemen, this is your CEO. Please keep mining; no reason to …
Side Gig
69
JTK '24   •   May 2023
Every pizza shop’s dream is a delivery driver with no obligation to the law. That, or an Ital…
Cruising Altitude
2
MFP '23-24   •   September 2021
Good evening passengers, this is your doctor speaking. Yeah, you heard that right. Everybody know…
Buzzer
45
GPL '21-'22   •   November 2019
– Hey dude how do we know our pizza is ready for pick-up? – The buzzer they gave us. …
Closing Argument
149
SEH '26   •   May 2023
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, when I woke up this morning I thought, wow, I am so tired of the …
The Art of The Password, by Shar
20
PKS '21-'22   •   May 2023
If you make your password a real word make it assword because that’ll make your hacker laugh.…
Ray Charles
12
HBF '19   •   December 2020
For forty years I’ve been Ray Charles’s private caretaker, helping make his dreams come…
Horses
349
CLHC '26   •   May 2023
I first saw her in English class. After a quick forty-minute search of Google, I found out that she…