23
Things To Say If You Want To Join The Cool Table
- Don’t mind me, lemme pull up a chair—backwards.
- My mom packs me lemon slices instead of orange slices.
- In a way, Shakespeare was the last real rapper.
- Silly bands anyone?
- (pretend to get a phone call) Hello? God? Christian God? Yeah, I’m free.
- (pretend to get a phone call) Hello? God? Non-christian God? No, I’m busy.
- At my old school, people used to think shitting your pants in English was like, the coolest thing you could do.
- My dad was at the cool table.
- (long whistle through teeth) Storm’s a-brewin’
- STOMP! STOMP! I WAS IN STOMP!
- Word is, this “jazz” thing is here to stay.
- Hey, how’s it—whoa. Just took a micronap. This happens all the time for me.
