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Artwork: AMC '23
18

Things To Say If You Want To Join The Cool Table

Author: GPCP '22
As seen in: Cool #

  • Don’t mind me, lemme pull up a chair—backwards.
  • My mom packs me lemon slices instead of orange slices.
  • In a way, Shakespeare was the last real rapper.
  • Silly bands anyone?
  • (pretend to get a phone call) Hello? God? Christian God? Yeah, I’m free.
  • (pretend to get a phone call) Hello? God? Non-christian God? No, I’m busy. 
  • At my old school, people used to think shittin​​g your pants in English was like, the coolest thing you could do.
  • My dad was at the cool table.
  • (long whistle through teeth) Storm’s a-brewin’
  • STOMP! STOMP! I WAS IN STOMP!
  • Word is, this “jazz” thing is here to stay.
  • Hey, how’s it—whoa. Just took a micronap. This happens all the time for me.