— How was your weekend?
— I can’t tell you about things I did in the past.
— Wait why?
— If we talk about actions in the past then the dialogue seems stale.
— Sorry, I didn’t know.
— It’s alright.
— How about those hedge-trimmers you’re working with? I hear the series 9000 is pretty advanced.
— What? No that’s even worse. If we mention what I’m doing in the present then we should’ve just had this whole conversation in prose.
— Well then what can we talk about?
— I’m not sure. I think it’s supposed to be a contextual thing, where the characters involved are in a bit of a sticky / awkward situation.
— Kinda like this?
— No this is too meta. It would come across as overdeveloped.
— ...And I think most people would agree that ellipses are a little overused.
— I think I’ll just leave you alone.
— Okay. See you around. [Steps back to admire the completed hedge-sculpture: a hyper-realistic depiction of two people engaged in a dialogue that uses complex action lines as a crutch.]
