Lifeguard: (sips smoothie) I’m just saying: if your kid was “drowning in the deep end” then someone should jump in and save him.
Mother: You! You save him! I asked you!
Lifeguard: I can’t– I just ate. (gestures to smoothie) I’m required to wait 30 minutes before swimming again. We don’t want two– What’s your son’s name?
Mother: Rodney.
Lifeguard: We don’t want two Rodneys now, do we?
Rodney: Hurry! I’m swallowing water at a dangerous rate!
Lifeguard: Rules are the rules. Read the book. Never broke one before. Why start now?
(30 minutes pass)
Lifeguard: Well I guess I shouldn’t save someone on an empty stomach…. (sips smoothie)
Rodney: Hurry!
Lifeguard: Oh, no. This is embarrassing. You guys are gonna laugh– I did something so dumb! (gestures to smoothie)….I just ate.
Mother: Hold on Rodney! I’m almost certified.
Lifeguard: Oh my gosh.. I’ve been so rude. Would you like some smoothie, Rodney?
Rodney: Just hold out your hand an inch and I can grab it!
Lifeguard: I guess sometimes the rules are meant to be broken. This could be my destiny.
Lifeguard: (dives into pool. breaks spine.)
Rodney: I drank all the water.
