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Artwork: ghost
19

Texting on My Laptop

Author: MAG '21-'22
As seen in: Hey You Yeah You Quit Pulling My Leg #

Me: Hey Sarah

Me: Hey

Me: Hey Sarah

Me: Hey Sarah, sorry. 

Me: I didn’t realize hitting enter on my keyboard would send a message instead of starting a new line.

Me: I’m on my laptop and I’m 

Me: texting

Me: I hit enter again.

Me: Fuck. 

Me: Fuck me.

Me: I hit enter 

Me: again.

Me: ********************I hit enter again. Fuck.

Me: Shit

Me: Shit

Me: Shit

Me: I got

Me: I got it. If If I hit shift+enter that’ll fix it.

Me: Anyways. Hey Sarah. Haven’t seen you on campus for a while cause of the chemo, but I’m thinging about you.

Sarah: Hey Mark. Thanks.

Me: Lol thinging.

Me: I meant to say thinking

Me: Must’ve autocorrected to thinging.

Me: Anyways

Me: Hey Sarah.

Me: You thinging about prom nxt yr?

Sarah: I guess

Me: If ur alive lol 

Me: SHIT SHIT SHIT 

Me: ASSHOLE ASSHOLE ASSHOLE

Me: I’m such a klutz.

Me: I didn’t mean 

Me: anything

Me: fuck me

Me: I was going to say, “If ur alive lol would you want 2 go with me?”

Sarah: It’s ok.

Sarah: I already told Rodney Ellison I’d go with him

Sarah: sorry

Me: lol

Me: Not lol

Me: Wait no. I hit enter.

Me: I’ll just copy and paste what I want to say

Me: into the chat.

Sarah: I really have to go Mark. Ttyl. 

Me: https://www.pornhub.com/cancerteens/handstuffplaylist/video=?172832020

Me: wait

Me: no

Me: this is wrong

Me: I meant to paste this:

Me: ****https://www.youtube.com/atmosphericmusicforgirls/easingchemo/marksplaylist2

Me: this should help

Me: and say hi 2 ur sister 4 me

Me: Is she free for prom nxt year? 

Me: If the cancer thing 

Me: works out?

Me: **************doesn’t work out.

Me: SHIT

Me: Shift+Enter doesn’t fix it.

Sarah: Typing is really hard for me right now.

Me: I’ll ask rodney for her number.

Rodney Ellison has been added to the group message

Rodney: ?

Me: SHIT 

Me: FUCK

Me: Shit Rodney I

Me: Fuck*** Shift+Enter got 2 remember

Me: Rodney I’ll text you in a private thread

Me: So Rodney basically what happened is I asked Sarah to prom next year if her cancer gets better and she said she’s gonna go with you and then I accidentally sent her a link to porn so I wanted to get her sisters # from you but I accidentally added you to the chat 

Me: Oh no

Rodney: Jesus, man.

Me: FUCK FUCK FUCK

Me: Rodney we’re caught.

Me: Sarah you’re not gonna guess what happened

Me: I meant to text

Me: Rodney

Me: In a private thread

Me: But somehow the laptop must’ve confused it and sent it through the ether and back to the group chat.

Me: Crazy.

Me: Anyways.

Me: Rodney can u figure out how to text me directly and give me Sarag’s sister Rachel’s number?

Me: SHIT SHIT 

Me: FUCK ME 

Me: Sarah**** 

Rodney: ya sure ill send it

Rodney has added Rachel Brickman to the group message

Rachel: Hello?

Me: RACHEL FUCK SHIT FUCK AH FUCKING SHIT 

Me: Nooooooooooo

Me:oooooooo

Me: FUCK

Me: ****Nooooooooooooooooo

Me: Long story

Me: But I hit enter in between Noooooooooo and the oooooooo

Me: It was supposed to be one word.

Me: All my fault.

Me: Anyhow, 

Me: Hey Rachel.

Rachel: Who’s the 617 number here?

Rodney: Hey Rachel it’s Rodney Ellison

Rachel: And who’s 509 200 8752?

Me: Rachel this is Mark we’ve spoken a few times I know your sister from school

Rachel: Mark from the basketball team?

Me: No.
Me: I didn’t try out.

Me: I do computers and classes.

Me: So we were talking about prom

Me: Anyone goin?

Me: ****going

Me: Nooooooooo

Me: That’s so embrassing.

Me: lol

Me: What I mean is—- Is anyone going to the prom?

Rachel: I’m going with Brian.

Me: Which Brian?

Me: Brian Chase?

Me: Brian Saunders? 

Me: Brian Robertson?

Me: Brian Foster?

Me: Brian Wilkinson?

Me: Nick Brian?

Rachel: Brian Chase.

You have added Brian Chase, Brian Saunders, Brian Robertson, Brian Foster, Brian Wilkinson, and Nick Brian to the group message.

Me: Oh no no no.

Me: Rachel you’re not gonna like when you find out what I just did.

Me: I added all the Brians to the chat. 

Brian W: what’s up Mark?

Me: Oh I’m just texting on my laptop.

Me: Brian you heard about Brian Chase and Rachel

Me: ?????

Brian Wilkinson has left the chat

Me: Oh no, Brian

You have added Brian Wilkinson back to the chat

Me: Brian you gotta hear this.

Brian F: What?

Brian S: What?

Brian W: What?

Brian C: What?

Me: Brian Wilkinson.

Brian W: What?

Me: Brian you seen this?

Me: It’s a copy and paste trick

Me: Dylan Mackie’s dad showed me

Norman Mackie has been added to the chat

Me: (。 ㅅ  。)

Me: Now what does that look like to you Brian?

Brian C: Boobs.

Brian S: Boobs.

Norman: TITS!!!! It’s tits, boys.

Norman: You’ll know, soon.

Brain W: Gross, man.

Brian F: We know what tits are. 

Me: yo Mr. Mackie what’s up?!

Norman: Mark! How’s the prom sitch goin?

Me: Workin on it rn!

Me: lol

Norman: That’s my boy!

Brian F: Does Dylan know we’re chatting without him, Mr. Mackie?

Norman: He’s probably at his mom’s

Brian F: Should we add him?

Dylan Mackie has been added to the chat.

Dylan: Dad?

Me: Hi Dylan.

Dylan: Dad why are talking to these guys?

Norman: These are my friends.

Brian W: Hey Dylan I just wanna say I am definitely not friends with your dad.

Brian C: ^

Brain F: ^

Me: i’m your friend Mr. Mackie!

Dylan: Dad I don’t know most of these people.

Norman: Hey boys check this out

Norman: (•_ㅅ_•)

Norman: Bigger nipples.

Me: woah nice! 

Norman: I know lol.

Nick Brian: Haha that’s sick.

Brian W: Too large for my screen lol

Rachel: This is really messed up. Sarah’s asleep and needs to rest.

Rachel: Her phone is buzzing like crazy

Me: hey Rach

Me: can u sneak into the hospital for me and delete all these messages from Sarah’s phone?

Me: I wanna start fresh

Rachel: What? No.

Norman: How bout I take a crack at it Markie!

Dylan: Dad wtf mom is gunna kill us

Me: nooooooo

Me: it’ll be cool

Me: Mrs. Mackie always understands

You have added Angela Mackie to the chat.

Me: oh no

Norman: Fuck

Me: Fuck me

Me: FUCK

Norman: Noooooooo

Norman: Boys scramble!

Me: Everybody run!

Brian Chase has left the chat

Brian Wilkinson has left the chat

Brian Saunders has left the chat

Brian Foster has left the chat

Nick Brian: Leave chat

Nick Brian: Leave chat

Nick Brian: LEAVE

Nick Brian: CHAT 

Nick Brian: COMMAND OPTION + A

Nick Brian: HOW DO I LEAVE

Nick Brian: HOW DO I LEAVE THE CHAT!

Me: Nick! I gotchu!

You have made Nick Brian an admin on the chat

Me: Shit! Oh Nick u r not gonna like this

Me: Nick what happened just now is that i made u an admin

Angela: What is this?

Angela: Norman what is this chat?

Nick Brian: It wasnt me!

Dylan: Mom u should leave the chat.

Angela: Mark?

Me: Mrs. Mackie whaddddup

Angela: Mark!? Haven’t heard from you in a minute! How is prom coming along?

Rodney: lol

Mark: eh so so

Angela: been there

Angela: Boys it’s 2am. Go to bed

Me: Yeah getting pretty late. U guys goin 2 bed?

Rodney: ya. Night!

Nick Brian: Night guys.

Norman: “Zzzzzz”–me.

Nick Brian: lol

Me: hahaha

Me: Norm! You Legend! Ha ha

Me: ha

Me: hahaha****

Dylan: 4 real guys, let’s call it a night

Me: Agreed. Night everyone.

Nick Brian: Night!

Angela: Good night, boys.

Rachel: omg finally. all i want to do is sleep.

Me: Psst.

Me: Anyone awake 🙂

Norman: we’re in the clear

Norman: lights out for the missus

Norman: wanna c somethin cool?

Norman has removed Dylan from the chat

Norman:  ( . Y . )

Norman: ^^this is the kind Dylan’s mom has. 

Norman: perky+good, small nipples. Gorge us!

Norman: **Gorgeous

Norman: Couldn’t let him see that

Norman: used to really go to town on those

Norman: these sms cost five cents to send each

Norman: Worth it lol

Me: Im actually texting from my laptop so theres no charge

Norman: genius

Angela: NORMAN

Norman: Scramble!!! 

Norman: Go go go!!

Angela: Norman what the hell is wrong with you?

Norman: We gotta throw her off the scent

Norman: Add random ppl to the chat to distract

Norman: ADD THEM

You have added Robert Brickman to the chat

You have added Sandra Brickman to the chat

You have added Douglas Brickman to the chat

You have added Candace Brickman to the chat

You have added Beth Brickman to the chat

You have added Dougie Brickman to the chat

You have added Magnus Brickman to the chat

You have added Trisha Brickman to the chat

You have added Kelsey Brickman to the chat

You have added Terrance Brickman to the chat

Me: Oh no

Me: that was all of my contact list 

Me: except the Brians 

Me: wait

Me: WAIT

Me: *******WAIT

Me: norman they’re related to Rachel and Sarah

Me: we’re in the shit now

Me: prom is on line

Me: on the line****

Rodney: yooooo Brickmans

Me: Rodney no

Rodney: Any Brickmans here think they could drive Sarah and me to prom?

Norman: Not cool Rodney

Norman: Right in front of Mark?

Me: sall good Norm

Me: Rodney’s and me are

Me:  cool

Me: We’re cool

Me: Rodney is going with Sarah

Me: Rachel is going with Brian

Me: Brian Wilkinson

Brian Wilkinson has been added to the chat

Me: Fuck.

Me: Hey Brian

Me: Hope we’re cool

Me: cool if we go to prom together?

Me: You

Me: Me

Me: Rachel B

Me: Sarah B

Me: and Rodney Ellison

Me: Us five?

Norman: six.

Me: ohyeahhaha Mr. Mackie can drive us

Me: that cool Brian?

Norman: Do u guys want me to paint my car black so it looks more like a limo?

Brian W: badass Mr. M

Nick Brian: ^^^^^

Me: You’re the best Mr. M

Me: prom will never b the same.

Norman: haha yes! Did u guys no that i have a gun?

Nick Brian: Is Dylan coming?

Norman: What do u think?

Me: a limo has seats for everyone! Y not?

Rachel: ok.

Me: YESSSSSS

Me: You’ll go?

Me: PROM WITH SARAH!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: Norman check ur inbox

Me:(•_ㅅ_•)

Me:(•_ㅅ_•)

Me:(•_ㅅ_•)

Me:(•_ㅅ_•)

Me:(•_ㅅ_•_ㅅ_•)

Me: Sorry 

Me: lol

Me: that was 4 Norman

Norman: i got it. no worries my man

Me: i kno we aren’t technically going

Me: sarah

Me: I kno that

Me: whoa

Me: haha Norman we still on tho

Me: the boys will 

Me: ride on

Me: us

Me: together?

Rachel Brickman has left the chat

Robert Brickman has left the chat

Sandra Brickman has left the chat

Douglas Brickman has left the chat

Candace Brickman has left the chat

Beth Brickman has left the chat

Dougie Brickman has left the chat

Magnus Brickman has left the chat

Trisha Brickman has left the chat

Kelsey Brickman has left the chat

Terrance Brickman has left the chat

Nick Brian has left the chat

Angela Mackie has left the chat

Rodney Ellison has left the chat

Norman Mackie has left the chat

Me: whoaaaa

Me: why everyone leaving?

Me: b4 prom?

Me: this is crzy

Me: crazy

Me: I meant to say

Me: I meant to say this is crazy

Me: what I meant to say was 

Me: “This is crazy.”

Me: I kept hitting space

Me: anyways

Me: sarah.. I think rodney left the chat

Me: seems like he kinda hung us out to dry

Me: NOT COOL

Me: if you ask me

Me: well

Me: anyways sarah

Me: sorry to hear about your cancer

Me: im sure u can still dance

Me: haha

Me: lol

Me: imagine us dancing on the dancefloor 

Me: at PROM

Me: hahahaha

Me: haha

Me: uhhh

Me: idk

Me: hm

Me: g2g sarah

Me: c u at school?

Me: haha 

Me: bye

Me: maybe?

You have left the chat

Sarah: Sure Mark! 

Sarah: It’s a date.

Norman Mackie has reentered the chat

Norman: yoooooooooo

Norman: Mark I’m just playin 

Norman: I ain’t leavin the boys

Sarah Brickman has left the chat

Norman: Mark?