Artwork: ghost

Answering Machine

Author: GPL '21-'22
As seen in: For Your Consideration #

(pickup) Hello?

– Doc?! Is that you? It’s Billy. 

– The Doctor is in! What’s up?

(angrily) What’s up? The fuck do you mean “what’s up?” Look, man I don’t think it’s cool that you decided to deliver the news that I have syphilis to my answering machine.

– What?

– I live with my mom, and–.

– Speak up, I can’t hear you? 

–  (louder) Yeah, I live with my mom and she heard about the syphilis over the answering–

(laughing) I’m just kidding. I totally got you. This is just an automated message on my answering machine. Leave me a message and I’ll be sure to get back to you.