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Artwork: AMC '23
52

May December Romance

Author: EB '24
As seen in: We Like To Have Fun #

- Yeah, I had a grandpa too once. Is yours cool or like a piece of shit or do you like hate him or what? Aw, I’m so sorry he passed. 

- Maybe a romantic dinner would cheer you up? No? Oh ok. 

- Well if I was your grandpa I would never die. I would stay alive forever so you wouldn’t have to be sad. 

- You would like that, right? If I was your grandpa? You could, like, visit me in the nursing home and we could play checkers together. 

- I saw that family reunion you guys had in Wisconsin, bet it was pretty cold. We could share a blanket, after your parents and the twins fall asleep. Maybe make out if the moment was right.

- Stop saying it would be weird. It wouldn't be weird, I would still look like me, I wouldn’t be old. You’re making it weird. 

- No, I would still be your granddad. I don’t think you understand. The whole idea was that I would be your granddad and not die, so yes I would still be him but we could still go out. It’s--no--you’re still not getting it! It’s not weird it’s really romantic, I’m being really romantic, so….oh….I see.

- I get the problem….grandpa is married. You’re right, that’d be messed up. 

- Maybe….grandma was dead, so that I was single, and then we could be a thing? 

- Ok, awesome! Pick you up tomorrow at noon then? 

- Oh, right, the wake. Maybe Saturday would be better.