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Artwork: AMC '23
16

Sleepy Sam

Author: JRD '22-'23
As seen in: We Like To Have Fun #

Coming soon to a theater near you… (upbeat music playing) Sam Shmorganstein is a zookeeper who thinks he’s got it all. Figured. Out. He was just promoted to head zookeeper, the penguins stopped bullying him, and those pesky animal rights people are finally thinking about allowing him to marry the flamingo of his dreams. Sam’s got a great job, a great life, and (record scratch) narcolepsy?

That’s right, Sam gets up one day and no matter how many Red Bulls he drinks, he just can’t stay awake! (upbeat music starts again) Now Sam’s gotta figure out how to run the zoo of his dreams without spending too much time dreaming! Watch as Sleepy Sam falls asleep while feeding the elephants, and (record scratch) one of the elephants drags him into the enclosure and stomps on him multiple times! (elephant trumpet) Oof, that’s gonna leave a mark!

After Sleepy Sam falls asleep while operating a forklift and takes down the Reptile House, he goes to Dr. Dinkers to get some narcolepsy medicine. Sure he can stay awake, but as a side effect he (record scratch) grows a tail? Then Sam goes to work the next day and (record scratch) is mistaken for a monkey and (record scratch) put into the monkey enclosure?

Oh yeah, Sam’s about to learn that in the jungle, there’s no time for monkeying around! (intense music starts) How will Sam adapt to life in monkey society with no knowledge of the complex verbal and nonverbal socioemotional cues that govern monkey-monkey interactions? Will Sam stop bawling himself to sleep for the rest of the movie because he’s afraid of never seeing his human family again? Will Sam be able to live with himself after watching the monkey feeder he hired physically abuse the monkeys every day? And how will the zoo react when Dr. Dinkers accidentally gives the antidote to all the monkeys, turning the entire enclosure into humans who still ignore Sam even though they can talk to him? Find out as soon as we secure funding for “Sleepy Sam”!