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Artwork: AMC '23
13

My Ideas for Hallmark Cards

Author: MFP '23-24
As seen in: We Like To Have Fun #

- I’m sorry I spilled your drink

- It shouldn’t matter what’s in the cup, whether it be beer or rare life-saving medication, a spilled drink is a spilled drink, and I feel terrible about it

- Feel free to tell me if I’m overreacting to this whole spilled drink thing

- I can’t believe I spilled your drink and all I got you was this lousy card!

- The old adage goes, Don’t Cry Over Spilled Milk, and I’d bet the experts would agree that that applies to other liquids as well, including heart medicine, although I do genuinely feel really bad about my behavior last night

- Feel better in the ICU!

- I’m type AB+, so I probably can’t donate blood, if that’s the kind of thing you need

- My condolences for knocking over your beverage, but if it really was such an important beverage, might I suggest not setting it down on the ottoman?

- I’m sorry if that last card came across as rude, I now understand how my behavior was over the line

- I also understand that in order to fit in at parties you like to put your expensive medication in a red solo cup and sip it as if it were alcohol, and with this knowledge, I should have been more careful of my surroundings

- Hey, did you get any of the cards I sent you?

- Usually a quick “thank you” text is common courtesy but it’s no big deal, I know you’re going through a lot right now

- My condolences for taking a sip out of your cup, but maybe you should label it next time? Also, my heart’s been beating weirdly for the past hour, what exactly were you drinking?