Driver: What seems to be the problem, officer?
Officer: You been drinking tonight, sir? Where you been drinking tonight, sir?
Driver: No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.
Officer: Oh, I know you been somewhere. Where you been? That’s all I’m asking.
Driver: I was at my friend Todd’s house, but Todd doesn’t drink when he’s not driving – I mean I don’t drink when I’m not driving. I don’t drink at all that is.
Officer: I’m going to need you to step outside of the vehicle and show me your license and registration.
Driver: Yes, officer, of course. Here you go. And might I say that I promise it wasn’t more than two beers.
Officer: (Reading) Hmm.
Driver: Is there a problem, officer?
Officer: Just that you said you were at your friend Todd’s house, but you’re also named Todd.
Driver: It’s a very Todd-heavy area I guess. Todds galore.
Officer: I just ran your name through the system, and I only see one Todd in this county.
Driver: That’s because the Todd I know is right over the county lines.
Officer: I think the only Todd you and I both know is right here.
Driver: Officer?
Officer: I’m writing you a citation.
Driver: Officer, please, can I sing the “Star-Spangled Banner” or say my ABCs backwards?
Officer: Next time, just be honest about where you were. And you see that – that’s my number right there. Next time, you give me a call.
